Four Letters. Infinite Meanings.

The Price of Beauty

2010-04-06T19:45:00.001-07:00

If any of you guys have channel surfed and stumbled upon Vh1, Jessica Simpson has a new show called the Price of Beauty. Granted that its Jessica Simpson, I think this is actually a pretty good show, if you can get over the fact that it was created by Jessica Simpson. The show is about Jessica and her two friends that travel all over the world to discover what beauty means to different parts of the world and how much it really differs from how we perceive what is beautiful in America. Jessica Simpson really gets reality checks about how she has lived her life.

A couple of examples of this is when they went to Thailand. In many Asian cultures, including Thailand, having fair skin is seen as a form of beauty. It is believed when you have darker skin, you are seen as poorer and had to work hard outside in the fields. Which contrasts the American ideal that darker is better. One lady in Thailand kept putting dangerous cremes to try to appear fairer, but after years of use, it had permanently bleached her and skin and left many parts of her skin. Her husband ended up leaving her because of that and she stopped singing, embarassed to go in public.

Another example is when Jessica went to Nicuargua, Africa and learned that women actually fatten up before a marriage, consuming up to 5,000 calories a day and drinking gallons of milk a day in order to look plump, which is seen as a symbol of high status. Contrary to the ladies here who starve themselves to fit into a wedding dress. “You can try sears”

I actually give it up to Jessica for creating this show. I personally love learning about other people’s cultures and how they perceive the world. My hope is to be able to work internationally to learn about the world and to really step out of my bubble.

The beginning.

2010-04-06T16:26:00.000-07:00

These past two quarters has forced me to do a lot of thinking and evaluating of my life and where I want to be in the future. Its very daunting to think about your future, especially when you have found a place where you are so settled and comfortable. It is my fourth year here at UCI and it seems crazy to think that I am almost done with college. I can still rememer the time when my parents drove me down to Irvine for the first time when I moved into Laguna and the feeling of lonliness when they left.

While I am not walking this June, thinking about my future and what I need to do has been on my mind more than ever. I have to make those decisions for myself to help me prepare myself for what my future may entail. But seeing my friends accomplishing things with their lives after graduation gives me hope for my future. By the way, congratulations once again to Regina Gayatinea, my wonderful DIV daughter for getting into Pharmacy School at UCSF. I knew it this whole time!

Talking to my roommate Penney, we are both ready to enter the real world and have our independence. I am ready.

30 Day Challenge

2010-03-21T23:29:00.000-07:00

So after browsing and running into JoeBo's Tumblr, I saw a 30 day challenge that I was interested in participating in . So here goes

Day 1: Your Favorite Song
Day 2: Your Favorite Movie
Day 3: Your favorite television program
Day 4: your favorite book
Day 5: your favorite quote
Day 6: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 7: A photo that makes you happy
Day 8: A photo that makes you angry/sad
Day 9: A photo you took
Day 10: A photo of you taken over ten years ago
Day 11: a photo of you taken recently
Day 12: Whatever tickles your fancy
Day 14: a non-fictional book
Day 15: a fanfic
Day 16: a song that makes you cry (or nearly)
Day 17: an art piece
Day 18: whatever tickles your fancy
Day 19: A talent of yours
Day 20: a hobby of yorus
Day 21: a recipe
Day 22: a website
Day 23: A Youtube video
Day 24: whatever tickles your fancy
Day 25: your day, in great detail
Day 26: your week, in great detail
Day 27: this month, in great detail
Day 29: Hopes, dreams and plans for the next 365 days
Day 30: whatever tickles your fancy

Day 1: Your favorite song
So, starting this 3o day challenge today. I have music ADD so its really hard to just pick one song that is my favorite. But I think one song that probably has been on my list for a while is Five for Fighting's "Superman". I first heard the song when I was a staffer for a Red Cross Leadership Camp a while back. Since then, its held a more personal and deepaer meaning. Its a song that I've held close to my heart.

New Year Goals

2010-01-02T13:34:00.000-08:00

It's been such a long time since i last wrote in this thing. one quarter ago exactly. i am such a lagger but i will get on it because someone told me to write in it, and its the new year that prompts for a new entry.

I was talking to Czareine about blogging and new years resolutions. She was talking about how she doesn't really make resolutions and rather she makes herself new year goals. New Year Resolutions are more personal promises. She mentioned that she didn't want to make promises to her self if she knew she couldn't really keep them and would rather make goals for herself for the new year. Thus, why I am making New Year Goals rather than New Year Resolutions. So here they are as follow, in no particular order:

1. SAVE MONEY. it seems so cliche in such an economic time like this, but it's more than making sure I have money if something does happen. Its also based on self discipline and working on not over indulgence. It was so easy for me to have money in my account when pay day came around and just blowing it left and right. Vegas trip here, a night at the bars there. Boiling Crab here, Korean BBQ there. While I did have the "money" to spend, I had to really think if i HAD the money to do that. I really work on cutting down on my luxuries and trying to have extra cash in my bank account at the end of the month.

2. Cutting down on Alcohol. As bad as i may sound, to cut down all alcohol consumption would be unrealistic. That is why my goal is to cut down on my alcohol consumption. By how much? I am not sure, Ill determine that through out the year, but that could include not going out to the bars as much, not ordering drinks at restaurants, and having beer and wine over hard alcohol. I know this personal goal will benefit me in many ways. One, it will help me with the above goal of saving money because alcohol is expensive. Two, it will definitely improve my health. I was watching the show 30 Days about how a mom goes binge drinking for 30 days to prove to her daughter the effects of binge drinking. What got me the most was hearing her daughter "defend" her binge drinking and hearing it from an outside perspective, it sounded ridiculous. But I'm still down to have a couple nights of fun here and there.

3. Be a scholar. For 2010, as I finish up my last quarters at UCI, I want to make sure that I become a scholar, and not just a good student. I started off this school year on a good foot making Dean's Honors List and I want to continue through 2010 with this. In other aspects of being a scholar, I want to do more than just do well in my school classes. I also want to educate myself more in the field that I am studying, Public Health, but also educate myself more about the world around me and what is going on with current events. And no, Perez Hilton does not count.

4. Improve myself as a dancer. As this is my last year on MCIA, I hope to use this year to really try to improve as a dancer by putting in as much effort as I can into practices. I am not going to measure my success as a "good dancer" by how many pieces im blocked into or where I am blocked into, but how I feel after I perform, knowing I looked my best and tried my hardest. So MCIA, if you see me not talking to you or antisocial when were practicing...its probably because I am trying to focus. BTDubs.

5. Improve my relationships with people. NO, not that I have any drama with people, but rather I want to build stronger relationships with my current friends, family and relationships. I kind of borrowed this from Jamie Arcinas from her new year resolutions. As i am leaving college and entering the working world, our social networks kind of diminish. We don't tend to "make friends" as easily or as much as we did in college. However, I want to be able to embrace the relationships I already have and truly build on top of them. But you guys gotta help me out on this too. I want to also spend more time at home home with my family and be able to share different aspects of my life with them.

6. From my experiences in 2010, hopefully be able to get a job once 2011 comes around. That's it. Self Explanatory.

I am looking forward to 2010. It seems like a great year is ahead of me, and I hope that with my new year goals, it will be one of the best years I have lived.

clean carpet

2009-09-28T00:56:00.000-07:00

I'm listening to my quick mix on my Pandora right now that has a mix of Adele, Sara Barreilles, Jason Mraz, and i think Jack Johnson. I forgot how amazing this website is and i missed listening to it. It gets me excited for studying.

Maria's also got their carpet cleaned. My dad was nice enough to come down to our place and rent out a rug doctor to clean our carpets. Our carpet looks so amazing now and a year build up of feet, alcohol, food, Topaz, dirt, or whatever were sucked up and poured down our toilet. Its like our apartment got a make over. Clean carpet makes such a big difference. Its a good way to start off the new school year. Sord of cleansing yourself, getting rid of all the grimy dirt you have on you, and starting clean. Can't believe its already my fourth year. Seriously, how did three years of college pass by already? Time to pwn this year in so many ways. Eagerly anticipating what awaits.

On an another note, our MCIA workshops started today. It was fun learning Kduh/Soko's piece and to actually be in the position of being on the team already. I was so nervous assisting Sam in his workshop because it was a HUGE class and I didnt want to look a fool and wanted to make Sam happy. Overall, it was such an amazing experience and I had so much fun. Nothing like helping others do what you love to do. It's still crazy to think that a year ago, i was on the other side.

Heres to week 1. HELLO FALL QUARTER!

ready

2009-09-17T01:42:00.001-07:00

I'm sitting here on my laptop and have been on it since I've gotten back from practice. Practice ended early tonight but it's not like im going to find myself going to sleep any earlier. Practice for MCIA is probably the most productive...which isnt saying much...i have been feeling recently. I work during the day but thats just me sitting in front of a computer with occasional questions on the phone or a card I have to copy out. At least i get paid for it. Fortunately, today during work, I started work on my position I will began for the school year which is being the Stay Over Program coord again. We came up with our theme for the program and cleared out the old paperwork in the binders. Definitely, one of the most accomplishing days at work in a while.

I am actually glad that school is starting soon; that anticipation that ill be on the grind again and hustling and bustling everywhere on campus is very enticing. I am kind of over these mindless days where i wonder what is out there for me the next day or the day after. Maybe its partly my fault and I could push myself to get out there and actually do something about it, but i guess thats why im eagerly anticipating fall quarter to start: the rush of welcome week, classes, and SOP awaits me.

Its exciting to see everyone around me doing big things and not only makes me so proud of them, but it also gives me hope for my future. Despite this talk about "no jobs" and recession and shit, to see my friends going to grad school, getting offered job, traveling abroad makes me want to work hard during my last stretch of college so that i may enter the real world....which seems scary as fuck to me.

So I am ready. Ready for what life will throw at me. I recently hit a hurdle and i hoped and prayed for a way to get through it, and it happened. I have hope for my future and what is to come.

The Mountains Brought Us Peace

2009-08-17T11:47:00.000-07:00

There is this little sign hidden amongst the camp grounds of Pilgrim Pines in Yucaipa, California that reads "The mountains shall bring peace to the people". Its a little sign that I look forward to finding every time i come up for LDC each summer. LDC (Leadership Development Center) is a leadership camp that I attended as a camper in 2002 and have been a counselor since 2003 (with the exception of last year). Despite it being my seventh year returning back to LDC, that feeling of nostalgia every time i step back onto the camp grounds still resonates through out my body as strong as ever. I grew up in these woods, starting camp as a naive, quiet, and shy 14 year old and now I help run the camp seven years later. Who would have known how my life would have progressed with out this camp. Along with the many aspects of leadership I learned from this camp, I have gained memories and more importantly some life long friends.

Some of the staffers decided to make some changes to the particular sign. They posted up a sign on top of it that read "The mountains brought peace to us" and i believe that holds true. Amongst the crazyness and stress of life that surrounds me, I look forward to spending a week up in the mountains that takes me away from it all; To come back to these mountains and feel that LDC magic i have felt so many times before. From the first night with the staff, to the challenge of the clans, the hike, campfire, talent show, cabin time, sessions, Craft Lodge, speakeasies, banquet, dance, string tying, and all the moments in between, your heart, mind and soul gets wrapped up this special camp. it helps that there is no reception on your cell phone either.

It's interesting now to think that im one of the "oldies" here at camp. Its true, I have been around camp longer than most of the staffers here. I was actually talking to this about Albert Heng. The satisfaction I got out of camp this year was different than past. I think, when i was younger, after coming back from camp, my joy and happiness came from me meeting new friends, having a direct on the delegates and enjoying my won experience, but now its different. My satisfaction is being able to give back and be able to offer that experience to the younger staffers and delegates. I want to be able to inspire future generations of LDC staffers so that if the time comes for me to be an LDC alum, i know that the future of LDC will be in good hands. After this camp, I have no doubt that will happen. My oldie staff said that to me back when I first started as a staffer, and now I can say that to the newbie staffers and delegates this year. Amazing. The staffers and delegates were the ones that truly made my camp and I want to thank for being so open minded and embracing the LDC magic.

As for my future in LDC...i can't say yet. i would love to come back again, but as uncertain how life can be, I can't say for sure. But i know despite anything, the memories and friendships of LDC will always be with me. To finish off this note with a quote quote that has been with me through out my history of LDC.

"LDC. For those who haven't experienced it, no explanation is possible. For those who have, no explanation is necessary".

Heres to LDC 2009: Cirque du So-Lead

Shout outs to:
HDKLNC forever.
LDC soulmate
Nick Ngoc
Christian Bale-mhurst
my clan advisors
Elizabeth and James Han
and the beautiful delegates that touched my heart.

New Curtains!

2009-07-01T10:57:00.000-07:00

It's pretty interesting how fast things can change over a span of a couple of weeks, let alone a year. Especially through your relationships with people. It seems so cliche to say that in college, you meet so many people, but its true and I can contest to that. Through my many experiences, I have been blessed with the opportunities to meet the greatest span of people that have either made my life better, helped me learn something about the world or more importantly, learn something about myself.

Some people in your life come and go, and as sad as it may seem, its the reality of life. Its impossible to keep everyone in your life all the time, forever. And then there are those that stay with you for a long time, whether its on a consistent basis, or they seem to weave in and out.

Those people who seem to just find their way to come back into your life are the most interesting. When you feel like you have closed a chapter on a part of your life, they manage to find a way to return. I'm not saying its a bad come back, but I feel like there's always a purpose for it, as if you were never meant to close that chapter. You know there is a reason why they why they came back and keep existing in your life, but I guess your mission is to really find out why. Is it to help your realize something that you may have missed the first couple of times? Are they trying to tell you something? Or are they just there for nostalgic reasons, or simply, they come back to just exist in your life again. I don't know.

In other words, having extra free time during the summer is simply amazing. You really start to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Penney bought new curtains for Maria's and its legit. It really makes a huge change. So thank you Roomette.

I really want to take a trip somewhere. Nothing too special or crazy, but just a nice getaway. I've celebrated my 21 year old age to its max for a good month now, so a nice getaway would be real nice right about now. Ideas?

Ah yes, one last thing. I saw the SPOP Royal Year color revealing. Wow. Just Wow. Just watching the video gave me the same sensations and chills I had when it was teal year and gold year. There was so much nostalgia and all those feelings came rushing back to me as I watched the video on Facebook. Its so amazing how each and every year, the revealing is so different from each other. From watching your coords rip off trashbags that they were wearing or reading rhymes off the marquee in the Student Center, or cracking glowsticks in a darkened room, the end result is what unites all the years of SPOP together, and thats pride. Pride in that year's color, pride in your staff, and pride in what you are going to accomplish that summer. I want to thank Teal and Gold Year for what they have given me, and I want to wish everyone in Royal year the best of luck. You guys are going to rock it.

The Simple Pleasures of Life

2009-06-17T09:58:00.000-07:00

Waking up to no alarm clock, freaking out that you were late for work at 9:30 AM, only to look at your cell phone and seeing it was 8:22 AM.

Taking a nice dump to get rid of all the alcoholic toxins after a night at the bar.

Putting on some pants only to find a couple dollars you left in there the last time you wore them.

Going into the living room to see two of your friends passed out on the couch after a good night of hitting up Downtown Fullerton.

Your friends and you leaving for the day that morning only to make plans to meet up again that night to watch So You Think You Can Dance.

ahh yes. Summer is off to a good start. who wants to play?

Realization and Appreciation.

2009-06-01T20:20:00.000-07:00

So Sunday marked the last day of what I call “MCIA week”. For a whole week straight, I saw MCIA every single day, from Sunday to Sunday. Last Sunday was our performance for the APhiO Dance Competition (congrats UCI’s Rho Rho Chapter!). Monday was the Zeta Class hang out day in which my newbie class and I spent the entire together exploring the botanical gardens at the Huntington Library, which lead to our last practice of the year on Tuesday night, and our last performance of the school year at Care-A-Thon on Wednesday night. Thursday was a glutinous team banquet at Steelhead Brewery which we were introduced to our new cabinet for the 2009-2010 team. (If you wanted to know, the coords are Jenevieve Manguiat, Rommel Rosales, and Roxy Shih, and the captains are Summer Hart-Poindexter, Jason Tong, and Stacey Rivera). Friday marked the beginning of our retreat which brought us out to Cathedral City, far out in past Palm Desert. Then on Sunday, after what seemed like a very short drive back from Cathedral City and a stop to $10 ALL YOU CAN EAT KOREAN BBQ with seriously the best car ever, I ended my MCIA week on such a huge MCIA high.

I am not going to lie, throughout this year, MCIA seemed to be just a side dish I would enjoy with my main meal of what I call College. Work, School, and SPOP were on my main entrée plate, and I thought MCIA would be a nice side dish to have with my meal. I thought it would be something fun to do on the side and that would help take up some time. And a couple days before retreat, I doubted how much “fun” this retreat would be with the 40 of us in one house, in the desert, for three days….and it being dry (I know, I sound like an alcoholic, but it’s a normal thought right?)

As I spend this day as the first day I wouldn’t have to officially see any of my teammates (although it was pretty much a full table at a student center table during lunch today), I gave me time to really reflect on what I have experienced this year, especially at retreat.

Coming out of this weekend, I can honestly say that retreat was something I had totally not expected. It was so much more. There are two main components that I was able to gain two big concepts: realization and appreciation. Being in such an environment such as retreat, it helped me really reconsider what MCIA really meant to me. Before I go into my realizations and appreciation concepts, I would like just point out my top 3 memorable events to me (in no particular order)

1. MCIA “Spring Break!!!” Pool Party – it was just plain old good fun waking up after sleeping at 5:30 AM to have mostly everyone in their bathing suits at 11 AM hanging out the pool. The music was bumping, some were just enjoying the shade while others were basking in the warm desert sun. Some boys were grilling up some hamburgers and hot dogs (inside) while others were shooting up some memorable photographs. It was just good to see us all hanging out enjoying each other’s company, which I thought we didn’t get much opportunity to so outside of practice

2. My words to Rommel Rosales – I have known Rommel since my freshmen year of high school and we have been able to maintain our friendship till now. However, there was one thing that I hadn’t told Rommel and after finally being able to tell him, brought out a whole other side to me and made me appreciate him more as a friend.

3. Watching the Roots performance – While this year, we didn’t get to experience a live Roots (MCIA alumni team) performance, watching the video as a newbie the morning we left was such a cool experience. Just to know where we came from and how far we’ve come was a great experience.

As I enter my portion on the realizations and appreciations I have made through this weekend, just know that not all will be mentioned here. I want to keep some to myself but share some to others in which I didn’t get to during retreat.

After this weekend, I have realized how much impact this team has made on me and how important it is to me. I feel that MCIA is moved from the side dish plate to my main entrée plate. Although dance was fun, family and fun was what I really gained from being on this team. It was an experience that is irreplaceable and something I don’t regret. I learned to appreciate the people on my team and what they have brought to the team individually.

I also realized my role on this team and it was brought to my attention by my fellow teammates. For this whole year, I have struggled being on a DANCE team, with learning choreo, auditioning, and performance. I often questioned myself with the question of “How was I ever put on this team and how am I still on it?” After having my talks to for my teammates, I realized what role I played on this team and I appreciate all the words that were given to me and all the moral support they have given me though out the year.

I realized how amazing my newbie class is. One of my pals, Czareine, said during retreat “Congratulations Zetas, none of you guys left this year” and I was just kind of surprised by this statement. I thought about it and saw how true it was. All 11 of are still here from beginning to end and I couldn’t be more proud. I have realized how cohesive my class is. It seems like we are all thinking on the same wave length and we honestly have each other’s support in every way. As the oldest of the Zetas, I was dubbed the name “Papa Zeta” and I decided that I wanted to take that role seriously. I wanted to take care of my class as a whole and to make sure that we one family within a larger family. I like to now think of our newbie class as a puzzle. We are all look different with our different shapes, but when you put us all together we all fit together so well to make a larger picture. All of us form some part of that puzzle and without one of us, it would look incomplete. The day we all hung out at the Huntington Library was one of my favorite days on the team because instead of looking at our class as 11 individual newbies, I saw as an “Army of Skankz”. I appreciate every single one of you and what you have done for me. I have said this before, but although I am the oldest of the newbies, I have looked up to every single one of you not only as amazing dancers, but strong people. I have learned so much from you guys and I am so proud of you. (Newbies, check the facebook feed in the future)

I also realized that our team has its problems and is not perfect, and how it can be a good thing. Our team is relatively new, with its sixth year being in existence and our team is in its process of growing exponentially. As a result of our growth, changes are made every year and that’s often when our struggles come. To some, changes are harder to accept than others and some resist change as much as possible. However, I also realize that change is necessary and inevitable. Change is necessary to bring a growing team to its greatness and is inevitable as a growing team. Besides the problems within the team, I realized that there are also flaws in people. People are not perfect, and thank goodness for that. That means, that we as people, like a new dance team, can change over time. We just need to allow ourselves to change and grow. I really appreciate every person I got to interact and learn about during this trip. I have learned from the flaws of people and know that there is a probably a reason for their flaw. While I’m not exactly accepting their flaws, I am willing to see the potential of change in them and how they can bring it upon themselves, and be able to fix their own flaws if they allow it to happen. Although I am a only a newbie, I have learned so much from such problems and how to be a good returner next year on the team.

I have realized to truly appreciate you. You have taught me how to really care for someone else besides me and like gravity, you have pulled me back down to earth. You know how I feel and that’s all I really have to share here.

I wish that were able to do AGTs for MCIA. I realized how much I appreciate everyone on the team, and I feel like I am able to better express myself through writing and be able to write everyone I said as time wouldn’t have allotted me to say everything I wanted to, to every person. I appreciate my teammates.

I also realized the validity of the concept that “Everything happens for a reason” and it is a concept that I have truly believed in for a while, especially when I got rejected from my #1 college (so cliché, I know). Its pretty much self explanatory, and it also helped me pull through times when things don’t always get exactly how I want it to or planned it to. There is a reason:

- why I made the team I when did

- why I was in GBB

- why I struggled so much with auditions and pieces this year

- I rode up in the car with Jen Chung, Chua, Kevin, and Big

- For everything.

I appreciate everything that life has brought me and where it has led me today.

There are more, but those are for myself. If you have read all of this thus far, I really appreciate for having the patience and endurance to read through all this.

I hope I seemed coherent through this whole blog because it just seemed like I was rambling on typing away while I’m in class watching a movie that is a satire on how Asian Americans are perceived in the United States. How that relates, but I thought I would throw it in here.

I would like to enter MCIA Eta year with hope. Hope for change. Hope for growth. Hope for new experiences. Hope for new friends and building on old ones. Hope for new skills. Hope for being a great returner (fingers crossed). Hope for my goals. Hope for more fun. Hope for MCIA.

Thank you Jenevieve Manguiat and Patrick Villar for this opportunity. I hope I have made you proud.

the beginning of the end.

2009-04-30T17:27:00.000-07:00

4 times out of 5, when someone asks me where I am during the school day, I would say "work", on my way to work, or i just got off from work. I truly spend most of my time when I am on campus, at work.

My role as the Stay-Over Program Coordinator is almost coming to a close. Today marks the last day of hosting for the 2008-2009 school year and it was quite a bittersweet moment. While I was glad the stress of processing applications and finding hosts was pretty much over, I knew I only had one more month left. All thats left to do is create a manual for next year and create statistics and demographics to see our accomplishments this year.

If you don't know what the Stay-Over Program, it is basically a shadow program where prospective high school students get to follow around a current student (usually a freshman) and get to experience the day in a life of an anteater. It's their opportunity to not only see what college life is like, but more importantly, to see what college life is like at UC Irvine. The hosts take them to classes, clubs, organizations, the ARC, take them to commons, introduce them to dorm friends, have them spend the night in their dorm room, and really have the opportunity to share their experience and knowledge. All in hopes to hopefully get them excited not only to go to college and more importantly, UCI. (sounds familiar, huh? Just need to add one more P to that acronym)

While I didn't get to do the hosting myself, which I would have like to do, it was still another experience coordinating it all. This job, different from my other positions I have had, really gave me the opportunity to be a little more personable with my role It was my little project in which my partner and I had to create a theme, order T-shirts and gifts, get paper work ready, and foster the program from beginning to end. While that gave me satisfaction, what gave me more satisfaction was when guests checked out and watching them interact with their hosts. Hearing in the halls "I had so much fun, I can't wait to go here" or "Thank you so much, I want to go to UCI now" has to be some of the most rewarding experiences.

It was also amazing to work with a partner who I clicked with from the beginning at our group job interview. It seemed like we were always on the same frequency which made the job easier. It was fun to able to share stories with one another about our favorite guests or host, as well as having a partner that supported and understood you when the job got to be a little too much.

I really feel this is a viable part of UC Irvine, because it puts UC Irvine in such a good light and is a very unique program to UCI. Not many schools offer such a program and thats what makes it so special. I leave this year really proud of what I have accomplished. While there were bumps, it seems like we did a really good job, and dealt with the increased amount of guests who wanted to participate in the program well.

and....the shirts and the bags were sick.

What would you do?

2009-04-21T14:41:00.001-07:00

A couple nights ago, I managed to find some time to snag a TV show that I was kind of interested in watching when I saw commercials. It has different scenarios, similar to Boiling Point, but rather than testing how long someone takes to get ticked off, it instead examines human reaction in different social scenarios.

One particular example that i was very intrigued with was this particular scenario where a stranger comes up to you and ask you for not for some money, but rather, for some gas. At a time when our economy is a mess and when gas prices had climbed to almost five dollars a gallon, how would one react to such a scenario and what would you do in this position.

While this is not a scientific study, there were some interesting observation made about this experiment:
- when a male was the subject asking strangers for gas, he didn't have the greatest success rate
- however, when a female was the subject and asked strangers for gas, she had about a 75% success rate, no matter what kind of car she was driving. (they experimented to see the difference if the woman had a cheap car or a nice car.
-when a thick accented immigrant male asked strangers for a gas, there was an interesting finding. He had a very high success rate when he asked males for gas, but was rejected from every female he asked.

A thing to note about the immigrant was that he was one of the males that offered assistance to the female subject that was in the experiment earlier. He was an immigrant that had just come to the United States a year before and was someone who commuted thirty miles each way to work in a resturant. Someone like that doesn't have much money himself, but he was willing to not only give up some of his gas to help the women, but he came over to her car to help her put the gas in a tank...in the rain. When asked why he did what he did, his response was...
"Because she needed help."

Something simple as that. No strings attached. Just because someone needed help, he performed a simple act of kindness. Living in such a competitive world where everyone tries to get to the top, its easy to forget that we also live in world where other people exist . We also forget that we really can't make it in this world alone and there are so many things that aren't possible if we didn't get a helping hand from someone else.

Simple acts of kindness are underestimated. To me, if someone shows such acts of kindness, it means a lot to me.

Like the saying goes, "A little goes a long way"

Take the time out of your day to just help that other person make it through the day a little easier, and you will see how the rewards will benefit you more.

Was the juice worth the squeeze?

2009-03-19T14:08:00.000-07:00

Tis the end of another quarter, and I don't think I can leave relieved. Most people enjoy finishing their finals and hoping for a fresh new start or something new in the spring quarter, but I'm leaving Winter Quarter with a bit of uncertainty and not quite sure what to look for in Spring. There have been so many things that have happened this past quarter, even this past Finals week that has me thinking, "what am i doing?" or "what have i done?". It's those things where you feel like you are putting so much effort, so much of you, your turmoil, emotions, time, energy, and the outcome isn't what you quite expected. You shoot for the moon, yet you still fall short of the stars. Was everything worth it?

My mom told me that this new lunar year would bring me the greatest emotional roller coaster. I will feel the highest of my highs, and fall to the lowest of my lows. I feel like I have started experiencing that already, and its only been about two months in. Uncertainty can be so thrilling yet so scary at the same time, but I guess thats what life is really like.

I did something that I have finally got to do. So much time bottling it up and pretending that it was okay and finally allowing it to be released. I don't know where this is going to lead to, but I hope to find some kind of conclusion to it. It's not done. However, from this point, I ask myself, "Was the juice worth the squeeze?"

A New Way.

2009-03-14T16:05:00.000-07:00

"The greatest thing is not so much where we stand, but in what direction we are moving."
-Oliver Wendall James, Jr.

It'll be interesting where this new direction is going to take me...

I can't wait.

Karma

2009-02-10T10:17:00.000-08:00

So i was taking a midterm the other day and the person's stomach sitting right next to me started growling. It would happen multiple times and it was kind of distracting. I remember laughing to myself and thinking, "Damn, I guess someone should have ate lunch while they studied."

Ten minutes later, my stomach started growling. Twice.

take a second.

2009-02-09T04:42:00.000-08:00

The other day, I was walking through the Student Center's bottom floor where all the conference rooms are and a flashback just struck me. I remembered a sea of incoming freshmen, spots of a golden t shirt here and there, signs that read Camino or Bahia raised above the crowd and of course, long tables in the middle of the lobby filled with the same food I had eaten so many times already.

I then continued to take the elevator to the third floor to partake in an interview I had done two times before and was now going for a third time...

What a split second can do for you.

My A-Z Happy Book

2008-12-18T19:50:00.000-08:00

So while talking to a friend on a cold night, the topic of hot showers came about. We were talking about how cold we were and how much a nice hot shower would feel. He told me that if he had a happy book, that Hot Showers would be in it. Then I said, if I had a happy book, then garlic would be in it. That is when the idea came to my head...wouldn't it be interesting if i made an A-Z Book of what makes me happy? This is only made possible because I am on winter break right now and this is what helps keeping me busy besides work and the book I am reading....hope you enjoy and maybe get you inspired to make your very own.

Apples....growing up, apple based desserts have always been something that i seem to drawn to. Whether it be apple pie, apple crisp, caramel apple, or apple filling and pie crust with cold stone ice cream, the taste of cinnamon and apples has always brought me comfort. I would usually always prefer and apple dessert over any chocolate one.

Biology...Okay, forgive my moment of nerdiness. This is actually a recent discovery I had made and I hate to say this now but it was a "little too late" discovery for me with me three years into college already. Ironically, I thought I pretty much hated biology up until about a year ago. My sophomore year biology teacher in high school was such a douche that it made me really hate biology. I applied as a chemistry major because my first chemistry teacher in high school made it so interesting. Little did I know when i took my first biology class in college is when i discovered how much I like biology so much more than chemistry. Mostly, I enjoyed physiology and how everything worked together to make sense. One of my guilty pleasures is finding really cool biology animations on youtube and learning from those.

Cleaning...the thing about cleaning is that it's not the act of cleaning that makes me happy, it is the result of cleaning that makes me happy and keeps me motivated to keep cleaning. I like to see a difference in things and noticing the difference is what makes me happy. Like seeing a messy room suddenly have so much more floor space, or go from dirty carpet and being able to see the lines after your vacuum, cleaning and seeing the difference gives me a great sense of accomplishment and plus its always nicer to live and work in a cleaner space.

Disneyland. Honestly, everyone should have this in their happy book. I don't think I ever fully appreciated what this place could be until I bought my first annual pass. during February of my first year. Given the first fact that amongst the stress of college, it was a good escape to go to bring you back to your childhood and bring out the inner child in you. It was nice that it was only a fifteen minute drive and if you felt like you had a really bad day or were just looking for a fun place to go with your friends, you could rely on your Disneyland pass (given you weren't blocked out). I think the moment I truly discovered what Disneyland really meant to me and the true reason why Disneyland is in my happy book occurs for a couple weeks during the holiday season when Disneyland transforms into something truly magical. Just looking at the lit up castle, the huge Christmas tree, decorated main street, and watching the most amazing fireworks show really brings me to an entire new place where it just washes away all my worries and stresses.

E....:) Just Kidding. well...kind of. haha

Friends and Family... nothing makes me more happy than the people I choose to surround myself with. Theres nothing more I can say, but I feel like i have been able to associate myself with some of the best people ever.

Garlic - Everything just taste better with garlic don't you think? Well, not everything, but garlic does taste good with a lot of things. I like to even eat cooked garlic by itself. I used to hate the smell of garlic on my fingers after I had cut them up, but I've grown to appreciate that smell now. Yum...garlic!

Hot showers - I think this is the inspiration behind me starting this A to Z Happy Book. It's especially relevant during these cold times when nothing feels better than a nice hot shower when you are freezing your ass off.

Ipod... I've had my Ipod for about two and half years now and although the battery life isn't too long now , it's still serves as great company for me. It's those short moments where I'm walking from class to class, or I am waiting by myself for something, or I'm driving my lonely self in my car that it's there for me to keep me company with my favorite songs playing. It makes that walk, wait, or drive that much better.

Jon and Kate plus eight. This is probably my greatest guilty pleasure on television. When there is a Jon and Kate marathon on TLC, I can be glued to that television the entire day. I don't know what is so fascinating about that show, but i seriously can not get enough of it. It's probably the fact that I'm so intrigued of how that family functions with so many kids or that those kids are the cutest things that has ever existed. Whichever it is, I'm stuck. It's amazing how the two of them can run a household in such order with 8 kids running around recklessly. Omazing.

Korean Food - Nothing can warm up my body up quite like Korean Food; its like my soul food. Whether it be scarfing down all you can eat Korean BBQ or eating Kim Chi Ji Gae and Soontobu on a cold day, Korean food has the ability to always make me feel better. Plus it taste pretty bomb dot com.

Laundry...this is probably my favorite chore to do. I like several aspects of laundry, from the aspects of getting my clothes cleaned, taking out warm laundry from the dryer to refilling my shelves and closet with my clothes.

Mean Girls ...as much as we all had to admit, this is definitely the movie of our generation. I think it really describes our generation in a very satirical, but truthful way. I think the majority of us can relate to it because either we were those characters on the show or we knew people that were characters on that show, plus they are just some classic lines in that movie that I use all the time in my daily life. "GOD KAREN, YOU'RE SO STUPID!"

Noodles - I've always had a thing for nooodly-typed foods. Whether it be friend noodles, chow fun, pho, ramen, or udon, its my choice of carbs over rice.

Omelettes - one of my favorite breakfast foods of all time. I really miss the omelettes from commons that i would always go eat on the weekends at brunch with my hall mates. Those were the morning after meals after a night of drinking where we would share our drunken stories. But in general, an omelette is a great comfort food for me

Pals- My Pals in MCIA are really the best and I didn't really get the whole idea of Pals and how exactly I would fit in with my Pals, but after hanging out and spending time with my Pals, I think i was truly placed in the right pal line and couldn't have asked for a better group. We as pals have our crazy "Good But Bad" fun, but when it comes down to it, I can depend on them to be there when i need them, even if its just someone that can listen to me.

Quiet - amongst my crazy and busy life, when i get a moment to have peace and quiet away from it all, nothing feels better.

Rain Driving - Despite the fact that rain usually brings on the cold and wetness, there is one aspect of the rain that really soothes me and calms me. I've always enjoyed driving in the rain, except on the freeway, that just scares me. I find it kind of therapeutic the sound the rain makes when it hits your car and how my windshield wipers wipes off the water. It goes back to that whole cleaning thing where I feel like my windshield wipers are wiping clean the water off my windshield.

SPOP. This was the most obvious one for me. This is probably the biggest thing on this list that makes me happiest. Ever since I started college, my life has been pretty much revolved around the world of SPOP. I fell in love with UCI because of my experience as a spopper, then I became a spop staffer for the next two summers. There is no way i could describe the experiences I went through going from a spopper to a staffer and ultimately, a returner this past summer that would amount to what this program has meant to me and what it has done for me the past couple of years. I have had so many memories, made some of the most amazing friends, learned so much from my experiences with the program. I have been so lucky to be a part of this program thus far and i will cherish everything i have gained from SPOP.

Texts - there usually nothing that gets me a more simple happiness than having a conversation over texting. its just unfortunate that i don't have unlimited texting.

UCI - Going into college, UCI wasn't one of my first choices. I was the typical story of wanting to go to UCLA or Berkeley but only got into UCI. Plus, my brother was already going to UCI so I knew I would be living in the shadow of my brother when i first entered UCI. Little did I know how much I would fall in love with UCI and everything that UCI has offered me thus far. I know now that this was the college for me and that i couldn't imagine myself anywhere else.

VEGAS....pool parties...Fat Tuesdays....bomb buffets...the Strip...steak and eggs...just wait till I turn 21. haha.

Wicked...for the longest time, I have heard stories of how amazing the musical, Wicked was. I was never a huge musical fan so i was skeptical when i went to go watch it. When i finally went to go watch it this past year, the musical had lived up to my expectations and so much more. It truly is as amazing as everyone says it is and i am so happy that i got the chance to see it before it left LA. Although, I am so down to watch it again.

Xmas Season.. I think if it weren't for this holiday, I would hate the winter season all together. I hate the cold and the winter season is all about being cold. However with Christmas, it brings along lights, trees, gift exchanges, Christmas at Disneyland, but most importantly this season is all about giving and cherishing your time with your loved ones.

Yucaipa, California...that places makes me happy because it has to do with something that I have been involved with for a very long time. It is where the Red Cross Leadership Development Center camp is held every summer and something I have been a part of since 2002. It's just a program that has always held a special place in my heart that can never be replaced. Although I did take a break from the camp this past summer, LDC has always been something that has made me happy and the people I have been able to meet through it has been people who have been the most supportive in my life.

Zyrtec...well I've actually never tried Zyrtec but I know it would make me happy if i ever did need to take it. My allergies are bad. Wait, thats an understatement; my allergies are the biggest bitch in the world. While most of the world gets annoyed and sneeze and gets runny knows, my sinus clogs everything and my body complete shuts down. If you catch me on a day when my allergies get to me, you will see me at the lowest of my lows and probably at one of my most miserable moments ever. That is why taking any medication that can help relieve my systems would probably make the the happiest person and since I think my body is immune to Claritin so i will take zyrtec now. My boss told me it works better.

alive, healthy and happy.

2008-11-18T02:57:00.000-08:00

So it's so very interesting how i stress about losing the little things. I rip my hair out when I lose my car keys only to find it in the place that was right in front of my face. I have a panic attack when I can't find my wallet only to have it be in the passenger seat of my car. At the moment, it seemed like the end of the world when you lose those kind of things. But after watching the news recently, it almost forces me to take a step back and think, what if you lost everything and you couldn't get it back.

I was watching the news on the current wildfires that are taking over several parts of Southern California and watching houses being completely burnt up left me completely helpless. They were real homes with real families that lived in them. They had memories and belongings that were literally being burnt out. I tried to imagine how it would be, how i would feel, what i would do if that situation happen to me and it's scary thinking that it's more of a reality than not. Having one of the forest fires in back terrain of Irvine, and hearing how some of my friend's family had to be evacuated from their homes during the current fires is so frightening.

I think the best thing i could do now is pray for the families that are being affected by these fires, doing my part for the fires by conserving water and electricity, and lastly be thankful for what i have.

To be thankful that I'm in such a prestigious university that allows me to get an amazing education and to not take advantage of that.

To be thankful for a reliable car that i have that takes me from point A to point B

To be able to live in such a nice apartment to live in Irvine and to have a home back in Long Beach that will be there when i go back.

To be thankful to have a rewarding job that allows me to help the school and prospective students and supplies me with sufficient monetary funds to spend so i dont have to stress my mom out for spending money

To be thankful to be part of an amazing dance team that always give me constant support not matter how flustered, frustrated, tired, cranky i may be.

To be thankful to be surrounded with amazing friends from all aspects of my life that continue to lift me up whenever i need it.

To be thankful in having a supporting family that i know if all else failed, they would still be there for me.

and lastly, to be thankful to be alive, healthy, and happy.

late night thoughts...

2008-11-03T04:03:00.001-08:00

its 4am. i can't sleep. its probably cause i have so many things running across my mind.

i hope i'm not putting myself in the same trap i put myself into a year ago. i learned and I grew, but even the Great Wall has cracks.

anyways. this is a big week for me. we'll see how things go for me. all i can hope for is the best. and whatever happens, happens. everything happens for a reason.

i should probably update this more often.

random. really.

2008-10-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

So, taking a freshmen bio class, it really makes me feel old and overwhelmed. However, they aren't that bad when brought down to a smaller context. Working in a group of 4 during discussion, it was warming to see their energy and eager to learn. It was more than just their drive to learn bio, but to also learn about college. While engaging in the questions that the TA gave to us, I gave some insight on college and my experiences. This small little instance really reminded me of staffing where those freshmen are so eager to take in what you have to say and really gain more knowledge about school. It was quite refreshing actually. On the plus side, they did help me finish my bio worksheet. It's really a win, win situation. Hopefully their drive, will help me maintain my drive.

I've vented about a certain something to specific individuals about something (i know, confusing) that isn't necessarily a problem, but more a change that i needed. I feel that I'm starting to embrace that change and that change is doing me well. For those who I've talked to about it, just know that its going good. Progress. A step in the right direction.

Lastly, to top off this random post. You know you have those individuals who whenever you see, will always brighten a part of you and make it so you can't help but smile and feel happy? I am so thankful for those people. You may not know who you are, but just thank you for being you because that is why I smile everytime i see you.

Take me on a trip, i want to go somewhere.

2008-09-11T23:29:00.001-07:00

This morning i was having a talk with one of my SPOPPERs, Victor Tu, that strayed from our usual talk about how he's so excited about college or some piece of advice that I am giving to him about college. Instead, we talked about traveling and experiencing different culture around the world. We talked about how interesting it was to learn about different cultures and the fact that theyre are millions of other people living a completely different life from us. We both wanted to do a lot more traveling and get to experience different perspectives.

Then I went to lunch with one of my friends from Teal year who just recently came back from doing EAP in Japan for about six months. We had a good talk about her experiences in Japan and how life there is so much different than life here. Even something as simple as going out and grabbing something to eat to going out for a night of fun is so significantly different. Just listening to her talk about her experience really got me really want to study abroad sometime in my college career. I was contemplating different places that i would love to go: Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, and i think i would like to go to Hong Kong. My dad told me to not choose Hong Kong if i did decide to study abroad because it would be too "safe" since i understood the language already and my family would be there. The biggest reason why i would love to go Hong Kong to study abroad is because i really wanted to reconnect with my culture and try to relearn some of the language that i lost over the years. I have become so Americanized that i couldn't even get by with my family anymore. I would just awkwardly nod or shake my head to answer a yes or no question. Besides that, having my family there would help just in case anything happened or if i wanted to be spoiled.

But other than studying abroad, i really wanted to just travel a lot and go to different countries to just really experience life in different shoes. Sort of like that show, Exiled, minus being the spoiled brat who has everything, to be completely taken out of your environment that you aren't used to. I think its just a really good learning experience because you are just so wrapped up in your bubble and i think one would be able to gain a lot of knowledge.

lets go somewhere.

When life gives me lemons...

2008-09-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

I want to squeeze the juice in some bitch's eyes. Just kidding. I make lemonade! With the SPOP alumni party over, it truly felt like Gold Year was pretty much over for me. It was time to truly take for myself until school starts.. We weren't all going to necessarily hang out together all the time and we kind of go back into our own lives, but its good time to spend that quality time with the ones you care about to just enjoy each other's company. The other night, someone asked me if there was anything bothering me in life. I had to stop and think about it for a second. I couldn't pin point out something that was really bothering me or a major problem in my life. Of course, there was the minor annoyances like having to pick up my car the next day, but overall, everything in my life seemed set. SPOP is over, staffing was done, and so were all the spop parties. It was now time to really enjoy the company of others, my lemonade.

Going off that, last night, i went to get coffee with takeshita and regina to catch up. I know that's totally Laguna Beach status and you can totally make fun of me for it, but it was good quality time together. We just sat for five hours sipping on some overpriced caffeinated coffee, talking about our lives and just the everyday gossip. It was really good spending time with them.

Welcome week is around the corner and that means im going to be seeing a lot more people, including the incoming freshmen. Not to sound like an old creeper, but i can't wait to see them on campus and moving into their dorms. Talking to my spoppers, they seem so pumped and excited and i remember that feeling of being so excited and counting down the days till i moved in. ill be an upperclassman this time around, so definitely feeling the end coming soon. Plus, i can't wait to be swiped in at brandywine and pippens.

So, back to the making lemonade out of the lemons of life...

What are your natural highs? What makes you happy and gives you the warm and fuzzies?
My big ones are: taking the laundry out of the dryer even tho its a chore.., finding money in my pocket when you are broke off your ass and definitely the feeling of taking a good shit because you have been holding it in forever...

what are yours?

Summer Nights.

2008-08-31T11:45:00.000-07:00

After getting a surprise visit from the evil twins, Emily and Sonia and causing a great delay in my departure, I finally was on my way to Long Beach. It's been such a long while since I've been there and i thought it would be refreshing to spend some time away from Irvine. I also needed to wash my car, so i figured ill do it at home home.

My dad takes my brother and i out to Guppies, which i haven't been in forever. Its so much bigger than i remember. I ordered a kimchi fried rice which i barely ate any of because of the after effects of a pretty treacherous night. I was definitely not being M.I.P.

My dad then took me to a Korean market to buy some groceries. He was telling me different things he does at his place to cook and was giving me tips on how to cook at home. So i bought some duppoki (rice cakes), some kimchi udon noodles, edamame, and mandoo (dumplings). Im excited to eat Korean food at home. and damn, that bag of rice will last me a long time.

After getting my car cleaned up, scraping the bird shit off and getting it shiny again, i made my way back to Orange County. I pretty much ended the night hoping around place to place hanging out with whoever was down to kick it. It's nights like these that i enjoy most. Where there is nothing better than enjoying the company that surrounds you, even if you are frantically writing up AGTs. When you surround yourself with amazing people, you will have an amazing time, no matter what. You know when you are around the best people when the little things turn into adventures. Heres to the home stretch of Summer 2008.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

2008-08-11T17:27:00.001-07:00

It has come, the end of staffing for Gold Year. I never knew this moment would come so fast. How is it that i had already staffed 5 different halls. Each and ever hall has its on unique mark on my heart and each are very different from one another...

SPOP 1: Power Rangers: Lost in OTEROdise
Thus comes T.F.O., the first one. The night before my first spop, I was filled with all kinds of emotions. I was so excited to start my staffing experience during Gold Year, yet so anxious and nervous at the same time. Although I was a returner, the format and set up of this year SPOP was new to me and I am not quite sure how I would approach the unfamiliar. However, i had confidence that i would find some way to cope with the new changes. I guess I was just the most nervous about the impact I would make on the kids. I wanted it to be more than just "orientation" for them, but rather an experience. How could i possibly do that in just two days, and not even that. I woke up that morning pretty damn tired, literally having to DRAG myself out of bed. I arrived at school ON TIME (haha) that morning still groggy. It wasn't until I saw the groups of "yellow shirt people" slowly approaching Puente that my energy started to pick up. All my worries and concern somehow just magically floated away seeing my support system report for the morning staff meeting. I knew if i had any problems or worries, i could really on these amazing people to help me out. The first day went by like a blur. There was a lot of moments where i had to think on the spot or try to work out the solution, but somehow, it worked. My next mission were those SPOPPERS..my first ever gold year spoppers. I dove head in, when i sat next to a few of them during lunch. I rememberely them clearly, they were Neal and Christina. We had good conversation during lunch and i was excited to meet the rest of them during their Mesa Court check in. I don't think i could explain the rest. It turned out to be an amazing first SPOP that although, had its glitches in the beginning, everything else started to figure themselves out. First talent show was amazing, the dance was a fun first trial, and i went home that day so satisfied and pumped for my future SPOPs.

Oterodise Staff:
L-R: Sam Renzi, Ashley Browne, Sly Edrial, Me, Jennylyn Estrella, CP Anne Chua and Ken Tran

SPOP 3: The Poop Stars of poo-poo-POOENTE

A day before i would staff my second spop, i get an email from the coords. That email came to be a shock to me. Of course I know in the course of being a returner, I would CP eventually, but to have a concrete announcement telling me that i was going to be a CP for the very first time scared the shit of me. I mean, the returners never received a "CP for dummies" manual and the only familiarity i had with CPs is my experience with my CP Alan and CP Lauren from teal year. I really didnt know much about the responsibilities of being a CP, but i did know i had to go out and get some CP gifts. Nonetheless, being a CP for a hall wasn't as bad i thought it was. Of course there were times that i was stressed out, but i think it was due to me psyching myself out and putting more stress on myself more than i should of. My biggest concern as a CP was worrying about my staff and making sure they were fine as well as the spoppers. I think i did more worrying than i had to because my staff did mroe than a fine job taking care of the spoppers. Because of them, i didnt need to have a mental freak out and i want to thank them for that. OH SPOP 3 was also the birth of the first hall romance of SPOP 2008. The love between Poo Poo Pooente and SOULtero Train. I love you Wes. You are an amazing CP and an amazing friend to talk to.

Poo Poo Pooente Staff:
Top (L-R): Jeff Fong, Sarah Bana, Regina Gayatinea
Bottom (L-R): Angie Bordador, Esther Chong

SPOP 5: CamiNOTORIOUS B.I.G.s "Blinging in Gold"

This particular SPOP is special to me because it was the "firsts" of many I had during a SPOP this year. It was the first time i truly got to experience a full CHA experience. My Cha trip was cut short the first couple times because i had to tend to the halls. I also got to go an official full SPOP DANCE experience. I consider the first dance our "guinea pig" and trial one and i stayed behind during SPOP 3 as CP (plus i was dead tired). Finally, i was it was the first time during gold year that i was able to play SPolympics. I had such a blast and they made staying up till 4:30 so worth it!

CAMINOtorious B.I.G. Staff:

L-R: Sam Soon, Diana Huynh, Leslie Akizuki, Ashley Browne, Melody Cruz and Monkey C.P. Kristle in the tree

SPOP 6: Party in Pradodise - Where my Prado people at?
When i first got my list of my staff for SPOP 6, i nearly fell to my knees. I had such an all star staff and i was more pumped than ever to get back to staffing even if i had just done SPOP 5. I had no doubt my staff would do an amazing job, and after staffing they more than made me proud. Just watching them staff, i constantly had a smile on my face. They seriously made my job as CP as easy it could possibly be because they knew what they had to do and they seriously handled. More importantly, what made this hall so special for me were the SPOPPERS. These SPOPPERs were seriously down for anything and were always pumped and excited. You could totally tell by their hall cheers because, not being biased or anything, we were the loudest hall at SPOP 6. You could hear it from anywhere "O O, YOU WISH YOU WERE IN PRADO" I had such an amazing time staffing SPOP 6 and it made me so pumped for my T.L.O.

Party in Pradodise Staff:

L-R: Steph Takeshita, Jesus Martinez, my kiddo John Kim, Diana Thai, Theresa Hsaio, Charlotte Simpliciano

SPOP 8: Bahyatt Beaches Resort

So this is it. My LAST ONE. MY LAST HALL I WOULD EVER SPOP. I didnt come into my last spop in the greatest of moods. I had a really bad day the day before SPOP 8 and i also got sick, so i wasn't really excited coming into SPOP 8. I just hoped that i would get over my sickness so i would have the energy to give my TLO my all. However, it was 2:45 pm and i was dirty, sweaty and still sick with the spoppers checking in to Mesa Court within 15 minutes. I quickly took a shower so at least on the outside, i looked fine. Slowly, the kids started trickling in and there was this magical force that just came in. When more and more people came and we moved outside for a round of dance off and and woosh, i felt a transformation. Suddendly, i felt like i had no sickness at all and i was so happy to rock the rest of spop. My ended my staff experience with one of the most amazing halls, with the most amazing staffers and the most amazing spoppers.

Bahyatt Beaches Resort Staff

L-R: Cat Pham, Paulo Aquino, Cory Ishihara-Wing, Eric Kim and Stephanie Chhun

It's pretty funny how the Olympics are going exactly the same time as SPOP this year. Just as hard as the athletes are working for their gold medals, i felt like i worked just as hard to earn a gold medal in SPOP, and after closing, i feel like i have achieved the gold medal that i wanted. I came into this year with a goal. As a returner, i would give my all into the program and give not only the spoppers, but the newbie staff all that i could offer. I put my 200% into this program and it has paid off. The results were wort all that extra responsibility, effort, hard work, drama frustrations. I would like to congratulate the first year staff on their part in SPOP. You guys have truly impacted the incoming freshmen and accomplished your purpose. To the returners, theres nothing more than i can say to you guys than that i love you and am so blessed to be in the same group of returners as you guys. There is one thing i realized this morning and this goes out to all the SPoppas. I feel like we are such a strong group and i feel like we are a band of brothers. Our comraderie is something i felt and i am so honored to be dads along with you guys.

Thank you gold year for all that you have given me. SPOP is more than orientation program, its a way of life.

When you reach for the stars...

2008-07-26T20:50:00.001-07:00

Sometimes you miss and land in the clouds but other times, you just fall straight back to Earth.

Lesson Learned

2008-07-21T17:51:00.000-07:00

Here are some things i learned from CPing SPOP 3 and going to SPOP NOR CAL

I have the greatest support system with SPOP -- as "chill" as the job as CP may have seemed, i find myself being stressed at certain points of the day because i felt like i had nothing to do, but had so much to do at the same time. There were so many worries and concerns that i had, i just kind took the job as it came and kind of went with the flow and took care . if you know the type of person that i am, i like to at least have some sort of set schedule and have it written down for me. Of course, we had our CP folder, but it still didn't seem defined for me. It was something i was not familiar with and trying to think about all the things i needed to do or tell the kids really stressed me out. Luckily, i had an amazing group of staffers to help me through the process. Thank you to angie b, regina, sarah, and esther chong for being such an amazing group of staffers. I would really like to give a special thank you for jeff fong. i really can't thank you or express how much i appreciate how you have helped me. I know it may seem like you didnt do much, but to me, you kept me sane. I knew i could turn to you for anything but that i really didnt have to ask you for anything, because i knew you already knew what to do and you did it so well. And it wasn't just my staffers in my hall, it was basically all the golden shirts that were at SPOP 3. I knew i could turn to you guys no matter what with my worries and concerns and i could lean on you guys for support. Wes, you really are amazing. You are an amazing person to talk to and im glad we made the first ever SPOP HALL ROMANCE. i love wes. =]
The REAL purpose of why i staff SPOP: being CP, i really realized even more the main reason why i do this program. i remember that i kept telling myself..."you're doing it with for the spoppers, you are doing it for the spoppers,". I kept telling myself that because i felt like all the sweat and effort i put into this progam didn't go into effect. Most of my worries as CP came from whether these kids will be excited for UCI, let alone, even have fun. i guess, after writing this, it wasnt the duties of CP that stressed me out, it was the spoppers that stressed me out. Believe it or not, it was making sure they were okay that stressed me out the most. After touch game, when the kids said, "I had a really good time and am excited for UCI because we had the best staffers," it was then i was able to let out a big sigh of relief and told myself "nick, you did your job, and you did it well, congrats".
embracing connections you have with people...I really enjoy having my personal times with people. I would take those times over any crazy parties any time. i really love to genuinely talk to people and getting to know them and learning about their life. I especially go to do that after going to NOR CAL with spop heads. having a special connection with that someone that makes your friendship unique from other friendships and something only you and that other person can share. Even something as simple as making eye contact and feeling that connection you have with that other person makes it so special.
taking time for yourself...sometimes you really need to step out of the loop and take the time to have to yourself and reflect. its important to realize that you don't always need to be in the circle and that there are times where you do need to step back. its that whole step up and step down thing. in order to help others, you truly need to help yourself first. you need that time to yourself to re-boost and re-energize and focus on your ultimate purpose not only in the current situation, but as well as in your own life.
realizing your self worth..its so true when people say that you are your own worst critique. i don't give myself credit sometimes. its hard for me to see it because i really don't give myself enough credit, but yeah. I should realize my self-worth.

2008-07-15T14:32:00.000-07:00

"the truth is, we put up walls not to block people out, but to see who cares enough to break it down"

sitting in my room.

2008-07-14T09:50:00.000-07:00

im here sitting in my room, early in the morning, getting ready to go to work, except theres 1,000 thoughts running through my head. im just thinking about all the stuff that i have to take care of as well as all the changes that i have gone through the past couple of months. I know, weird combination, but it happens when you wake up earlier than you thought. I'm thinking about the changes that I've seen in myself, as well as my relationship with others. it's been for the good, i can say, but it's also been a roller coaster ride. i honestly really don't know what I'm talking about right now, i just felt like i needed to get something out on a blog.

i guess i'm talking about one relationship. despite the fact that we have grown closer in the past couple of months, i feel like theres still this wall between us. i really dont know what it is, and i really don't know how to fix it, but theres something there that is preventing us from getting closer. I mean, i'm happy with the relationship that we have now. we have moments and we also have our talks, but i still feel like theres something blocking us from getting even closer. we'll just see how time goes and maybe something will help or maybe i should just be content with what we have already. whatever, im getting cheese fries.

on a side note: i really miss disneyland. im hoping being blocked out for a month and half and then being able to come back on August 17th will make my comeback more magical than ever. until then, turkey legs, Fantasmic, fireworks, and the Toy Story ride will just have to wait.

The First One

2008-07-12T02:09:00.000-07:00

I can't even begin to describe my feelings and experiences from staffing SPOP 1. Although I'm a returner, staffing the first one seemed like a totally different experience. There were definetly a lot of last minute changes and "go with the flow" moments, but regardless, T.F.O. was truly amazing and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

To the staffers in my hall - My CP Anne, Sam Renzi, Jennylyn, Ken Tran, Ashley Browne, and Sly. You guys were truly an amazing group to work with and all of our personalities mixed so well and we complimented each other. Anne, you were an amazing CP. I hoped i was able to help you out and relieve any additional stress, and to the other first year staffers, i am so proud to watch you wear that gold shirt with pride and connect so well with those kids. My heart will forever belong to and remember Power Rangers: Lost in OTEROdise.
To the other staffers: YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING. you guys really make me proud and just watching you guys staff just brings me pure happiness. Despite all the changes that occurred with in the program and all the fears that i had regarding if these changes would be able to accomplish what the SPOP mission is: mission accomplished. We've impacted those kids and made them excited for not only going to college, but going to UC Irvine. It's pride that we already have and now we have passed it down to future generations. Just imagine, when they are applying to be staffers, its going to be YOU that they inspired them to be staffers. Congratulations and get ready for future SPOPS

To the spoppers: there ARE NO words to describe how much i care about you guys. thank you guys for making my first GOLD YEAR staff experience just truly magical. thank YOU guys for everything.

To the coords: Thank you for your amazing commitment and hard word. You have an amazing staff because we have amazing coords.

so pumped for spop 3. =] SPOP 2: YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO KILL IT!

[p.s. this blog is dedicated to jason kim. thanks for your words of encouragement. you inspire me. i shall write about supermarkets now!]

I really want to come kick it with you...

2008-07-07T23:31:00.000-07:00

After the madness of doing the showcase for SPOP MODERN for a crazy crowd and having a entertaining dinner with some SPOPheads, what a better way to end the night then to kickback with a bowl of hookah and chill. Just conversing with Jeff Fong, Sunil, Jason Kim, Shahirah, and Reg at J.Kim's place is a way to get ready for madness that is SPOP 1. We are all talking about blogging and how it's a good way to not only write down our thoughts, but also a couple years from now, be able to reflect about what we were thinking about during our college years.

I got Regina and Shahirah to potentially start one. Yay. Reading other blogs seems so intimidating. They get really deep into their thoughts and it seems like they think some crazy thoughts. I don't know if i ever think that way, but hopefully by reading the other blogs, I'll get inspired. Until then, I'll just try my best.

But anyways, besides the crazy parties, Vegas trip, Arrowhead, trainings in SPOP, as well the SPOPs themselves, the one thing that i look forward to is these "kick back" moments, where you really don't do much with others except kick back, enjoy each other's company as well as good conversation. It's a nice break from all the madness that can encompass SPOP. I'm going to try to have more of these. You down?

babyfaced

2008-07-04T09:16:00.000-07:00

I think it's some evil plot of KIIS FM or something because seriously, every time I step into my damn car, the song, Damaged, always plays. The song is pretty catchy, but not when you hear it everytime you start the ignition.

Anyways, I celebrated Jamie Arcinas, aka Nuni's, 23rd birthday at Banana Bay. Oops, sorry to call you out! Happy Birthday This is when its pretty lonely being within arms reach of that age of 21. Being behind the row of 21+ year olds ordering 2 for 1 Martinis and Red Devils makes these 11 months seem so much longer. Its okay tho, they let me sip on the Red Devil and they are the most fun people. woo hoo! But being with that crowd gives me something to look forward too. Something fun that i hope to grow up to be in a couple years with my fellow youngins. cheers to that, being a babyface.

self sufficency

2008-06-29T19:42:00.000-07:00

i did it for myself and im proud
=]

and now i feel great!
i didnt cave.

revitalizing body, mind, and soul. one step at a time.

It's Raining GOLD

2008-06-26T11:23:00.000-07:00

-artist: Paulo Aquino

This is basically what an expansion of what i had said during Weekend Training for Gold Year:

Ever since I have gotten involved with SPOP my freshmen year, I feel like I have become one of the luckiest persons. My brother (Purple Year) had always encouraged me to apply for staff,, even as a freshman, but warned me that it's hard to get it as a first year. I applied just to give it a shot. I guess it was kind of good that i was having a pretty slow and sad day because when I got that acceptance letter in my mailbox, my mood changed a complete 180 degrees. I can't believe i got the position of SPOP staffer as a freshman.

Staffing Teal Year was such an amazing exposure to college life. Getting perspectives from all aspects of college and being able to experience it all, as well as influencing incoming freshmen. I definetly got to staff with some amazing people and was blessed with such a loving family. DFW BLUE!

I knew i had to reapply as a returner because i knew that my journey on this SPOP trail wasn't completed quite yet. I applied as a returner, knowing again that it would be difficult to get the position. I was still young and the idea that i would be a "dad" let alone be considered a "returner" seemed very daunting. But behold, i received that roller coaster email yet again couldn't believe how lucky i was to be given this opportunity again.

Walking into the first returners training, i was so happy with what i saw. Knowing who was a returner felt so different than actually being there with all the returners. I felt such a strong chemistry between of all us and i felt so lucky being in a group of such amazing returners. At the end of that first training, when we were trying to find our partners for our discussion, i was just looking around going...where is my wifey!? Shahirah? nahhh... Sarah Khan...HELL NO....and it was getting towards the end and i still couldn't find my wifey. Then out of no where...Issac Cheung caught my eye and we looked at each other. He hadn't found his, and I hadn't found mine yet, and I knew we were both thinking, "No way...NO FREAKING WAY...", so we approached each other, and our HEARTS MATCHED!! OMG MR. and MR. CHEUNG!!! Ya'll can have your wifeys, but i had got myself a hubby.

So with being so lucky with staffing Teal year, being with such great returners and getting me a hubby, i anxiously anticipated waited for my family. Our family was the last discussion of the week and the anticipation kept building the whole week. That morning was a wreck with classes, work, and getting family stuff together, i was a hot trany mess, but i have truly been blessed with such a loving family with 4 daughters and 3 sons. Daddy's Little Angles <3 10 weeks of training went by and i got to slowly, but surely meet all the staffers. They truly are an amazing group. I couldn't ask for a better group of staffers to staff with. I definetly got lucky with this group. Winter Quarter was tough, and although Spring Quarter was fun and busy, it defiently was tough. I go by a quote that i have lived by for a while, "After every storm, the sun will eventually shine". Our color revealing this year couldn't have been a more appropriate fit. Reading the marquee with everyone and having our color revealed with our shirts being tossed down at us...the sun was definetly was shinning with our GOLDEN shirts. It seemed so PERFECT.

SPOP is just inexplainable. It's something you have to experience in order to understand it, and it stays with you forever. Now, its only the beginning of Gold Year. The summer is just starting and I can't wait for how brightly that Gold Year can shine this year.

First Blog

2008-06-25T14:07:00.001-07:00

Xanga is getting old.
Time to start something new.
Will Post soon.
Please read
=]