alive, healthy and happy.

So it's so very interesting how i stress about losing the little things. I rip my hair out when I lose my car keys only to find it in the place that was right in front of my face. I have a panic attack when I can't find my wallet only to have it be in the passenger seat of my car. At the moment, it seemed like the end of the world when you lose those kind of things. But after watching the news recently, it almost forces me to take a step back and think, what if you lost everything and you couldn't get it back.

I was watching the news on the current wildfires that are taking over several parts of Southern California and watching houses being completely burnt up left me completely helpless. They were real homes with real families that lived in them. They had memories and belongings that were literally being burnt out. I tried to imagine how it would be, how i would feel, what i would do if that situation happen to me and it's scary thinking that it's more of a reality than not. Having one of the forest fires in back terrain of Irvine, and hearing how some of my friend's family had to be evacuated from their homes during the current fires is so frightening.

I think the best thing i could do now is pray for the families that are being affected by these fires, doing my part for the fires by conserving water and electricity, and lastly be thankful for what i have.

To be thankful that I'm in such a prestigious university that allows me to get an amazing education and to not take advantage of that.

To be thankful for a reliable car that i have that takes me from point A to point B

To be able to live in such a nice apartment to live in Irvine and to have a home back in Long Beach that will be there when i go back.

To be thankful to have a rewarding job that allows me to help the school and prospective students and supplies me with sufficient monetary funds to spend so i dont have to stress my mom out for spending money

To be thankful to be part of an amazing dance team that always give me constant support not matter how flustered, frustrated, tired, cranky i may be.

To be thankful to be surrounded with amazing friends from all aspects of my life that continue to lift me up whenever i need it.

To be thankful in having a supporting family that i know if all else failed, they would still be there for me.

and lastly, to be thankful to be alive, healthy, and happy.

late night thoughts...

its 4am. i can't sleep. its probably cause i have so many things running across my mind.

i hope i'm not putting myself in the same trap i put myself into a year ago. i learned and I grew, but even the Great Wall has cracks.

anyways. this is a big week for me. we'll see how things go for me. all i can hope for is the best. and whatever happens, happens. everything happens for a reason.

i should probably update this more often.

random. really.

So, taking a freshmen bio class, it really makes me feel old and overwhelmed. However, they aren't that bad when brought down to a smaller context. Working in a group of 4 during discussion, it was warming to see their energy and eager to learn. It was more than just their drive to learn bio, but to also learn about college. While engaging in the questions that the TA gave to us, I gave some insight on college and my experiences. This small little instance really reminded me of staffing where those freshmen are so eager to take in what you have to say and really gain more knowledge about school. It was quite refreshing actually. On the plus side, they did help me finish my bio worksheet. It's really a win, win situation. Hopefully their drive, will help me maintain my drive.

I've vented about a certain something to specific individuals about something (i know, confusing) that isn't necessarily a problem, but more a change that i needed. I feel that I'm starting to embrace that change and that change is doing me well. For those who I've talked to about it, just know that its going good. Progress. A step in the right direction.

Lastly, to top off this random post. You know you have those individuals who whenever you see, will always brighten a part of you and make it so you can't help but smile and feel happy? I am so thankful for those people. You may not know who you are, but just thank you for being you because that is why I smile everytime i see you.

Take me on a trip, i want to go somewhere.

This morning i was having a talk with one of my SPOPPERs, Victor Tu, that strayed from our usual talk about how he's so excited about college or some piece of advice that I am giving to him about college. Instead, we talked about traveling and experiencing different culture around the world. We talked about how interesting it was to learn about different cultures and the fact that theyre are millions of other people living a completely different life from us. We both wanted to do a lot more traveling and get to experience different perspectives.

Then I went to lunch with one of my friends from Teal year who just recently came back from doing EAP in Japan for about six months. We had a good talk about her experiences in Japan and how life there is so much different than life here. Even something as simple as going out and grabbing something to eat to going out for a night of fun is so significantly different. Just listening to her talk about her experience really got me really want to study abroad sometime in my college career. I was contemplating different places that i would love to go: Japan, Korea, Hong Kong, and i think i would like to go to Hong Kong. My dad told me to not choose Hong Kong if i did decide to study abroad because it would be too "safe" since i understood the language already and my family would be there. The biggest reason why i would love to go Hong Kong to study abroad is because i really wanted to reconnect with my culture and try to relearn some of the language that i lost over the years. I have become so Americanized that i couldn't even get by with my family anymore. I would just awkwardly nod or shake my head to answer a yes or no question. Besides that, having my family there would help just in case anything happened or if i wanted to be spoiled.

But other than studying abroad, i really wanted to just travel a lot and go to different countries to just really experience life in different shoes. Sort of like that show, Exiled, minus being the spoiled brat who has everything, to be completely taken out of your environment that you aren't used to. I think its just a really good learning experience because you are just so wrapped up in your bubble and i think one would be able to gain a lot of knowledge.

lets go somewhere.

When life gives me lemons...

I want to squeeze the juice in some bitch's eyes. Just kidding. I make lemonade! With the SPOP alumni party over, it truly felt like Gold Year was pretty much over for me. It was time to truly take for myself until school starts.. We weren't all going to necessarily hang out together all the time and we kind of go back into our own lives, but its good time to spend that quality time with the ones you care about to just enjoy each other's company. The other night, someone asked me if there was anything bothering me in life. I had to stop and think about it for a second. I couldn't pin point out something that was really bothering me or a major problem in my life. Of course, there was the minor annoyances like having to pick up my car the next day, but overall, everything in my life seemed set. SPOP is over, staffing was done, and so were all the spop parties. It was now time to really enjoy the company of others, my lemonade.

Going off that, last night, i went to get coffee with takeshita and regina to catch up. I know that's totally Laguna Beach status and you can totally make fun of me for it, but it was good quality time together. We just sat for five hours sipping on some overpriced caffeinated coffee, talking about our lives and just the everyday gossip. It was really good spending time with them.

Welcome week is around the corner and that means im going to be seeing a lot more people, including the incoming freshmen. Not to sound like an old creeper, but i can't wait to see them on campus and moving into their dorms. Talking to my spoppers, they seem so pumped and excited and i remember that feeling of being so excited and counting down the days till i moved in. ill be an upperclassman this time around, so definitely feeling the end coming soon. Plus, i can't wait to be swiped in at brandywine and pippens.

So, back to the making lemonade out of the lemons of life...

What are your natural highs? What makes you happy and gives you the warm and fuzzies?
My big ones are: taking the laundry out of the dryer even tho its a chore.., finding money in my pocket when you are broke off your ass and definitely the feeling of taking a good shit because you have been holding it in forever...

what are yours?

Summer Nights.

After getting a surprise visit from the evil twins, Emily and Sonia and causing a great delay in my departure, I finally was on my way to Long Beach. It's been such a long while since I've been there and i thought it would be refreshing to spend some time away from Irvine. I also needed to wash my car, so i figured ill do it at home home.

My dad takes my brother and i out to Guppies, which i haven't been in forever. Its so much bigger than i remember. I ordered a kimchi fried rice which i barely ate any of because of the after effects of a pretty treacherous night. I was definitely not being M.I.P.

My dad then took me to a Korean market to buy some groceries. He was telling me different things he does at his place to cook and was giving me tips on how to cook at home. So i bought some duppoki (rice cakes), some kimchi udon noodles, edamame, and mandoo (dumplings). Im excited to eat Korean food at home. and damn, that bag of rice will last me a long time.

After getting my car cleaned up, scraping the bird shit off and getting it shiny again, i made my way back to Orange County. I pretty much ended the night hoping around place to place hanging out with whoever was down to kick it. It's nights like these that i enjoy most. Where there is nothing better than enjoying the company that surrounds you, even if you are frantically writing up AGTs. When you surround yourself with amazing people, you will have an amazing time, no matter what. You know when you are around the best people when the little things turn into adventures. Heres to the home stretch of Summer 2008.

All Good Things Must Come to an End

It has come, the end of staffing for Gold Year. I never knew this moment would come so fast. How is it that i had already staffed 5 different halls. Each and ever hall has its on unique mark on my heart and each are very different from one another...

SPOP 1: Power Rangers: Lost in OTEROdise
Thus comes T.F.O., the first one. The night before my first spop, I was filled with all kinds of emotions. I was so excited to start my staffing experience during Gold Year, yet so anxious and nervous at the same time. Although I was a returner, the format and set up of this year SPOP was new to me and I am not quite sure how I would approach the unfamiliar. However, i had confidence that i would find some way to cope with the new changes. I guess I was just the most nervous about the impact I would make on the kids. I wanted it to be more than just "orientation" for them, but rather an experience. How could i possibly do that in just two days, and not even that. I woke up that morning pretty damn tired, literally having to DRAG myself out of bed. I arrived at school ON TIME (haha) that morning still groggy. It wasn't until I saw the groups of "yellow shirt people" slowly approaching Puente that my energy started to pick up. All my worries and concern somehow just magically floated away seeing my support system report for the morning staff meeting. I knew if i had any problems or worries, i could really on these amazing people to help me out. The first day went by like a blur. There was a lot of moments where i had to think on the spot or try to work out the solution, but somehow, it worked. My next mission were those SPOPPERS..my first ever gold year spoppers. I dove head in, when i sat next to a few of them during lunch. I rememberely them clearly, they were Neal and Christina. We had good conversation during lunch and i was excited to meet the rest of them during their Mesa Court check in. I don't think i could explain the rest. It turned out to be an amazing first SPOP that although, had its glitches in the beginning, everything else started to figure themselves out. First talent show was amazing, the dance was a fun first trial, and i went home that day so satisfied and pumped for my future SPOPs.

Oterodise Staff:
L-R: Sam Renzi, Ashley Browne, Sly Edrial, Me, Jennylyn Estrella, CP Anne Chua and Ken Tran


SPOP 3: The Poop Stars of poo-poo-POOENTE

A day before i would staff my second spop, i get an email from the coords. That email came to be a shock to me. Of course I know in the course of being a returner, I would CP eventually, but to have a concrete announcement telling me that i was going to be a CP for the very first time scared the shit of me. I mean, the returners never received a "CP for dummies" manual and the only familiarity i had with CPs is my experience with my CP Alan and CP Lauren from teal year. I really didnt know much about the responsibilities of being a CP, but i did know i had to go out and get some CP gifts. Nonetheless, being a CP for a hall wasn't as bad i thought it was. Of course there were times that i was stressed out, but i think it was due to me psyching myself out and putting more stress on myself more than i should of. My biggest concern as a CP was worrying about my staff and making sure they were fine as well as the spoppers. I think i did more worrying than i had to because my staff did mroe than a fine job taking care of the spoppers. Because of them, i didnt need to have a mental freak out and i want to thank them for that. OH SPOP 3 was also the birth of the first hall romance of SPOP 2008. The love between Poo Poo Pooente and SOULtero Train. I love you Wes. You are an amazing CP and an amazing friend to talk to.

Poo Poo Pooente Staff:
Top (L-R): Jeff Fong, Sarah Bana, Regina Gayatinea
Bottom (L-R): Angie Bordador, Esther Chong


SPOP 5: CamiNOTORIOUS B.I.G.s "Blinging in Gold"

This particular SPOP is special to me because it was the "firsts" of many I had during a SPOP this year. It was the first time i truly got to experience a full CHA experience. My Cha trip was cut short the first couple times because i had to tend to the halls. I also got to go an official full SPOP DANCE experience. I consider the first dance our "guinea pig" and trial one and i stayed behind during SPOP 3 as CP (plus i was dead tired). Finally, i was it was the first time during gold year that i was able to play SPolympics. I had such a blast and they made staying up till 4:30 so worth it!

CAMINOtorious B.I.G. Staff:

L-R: Sam Soon, Diana Huynh, Leslie Akizuki, Ashley Browne, Melody Cruz and Monkey C.P. Kristle in the tree


SPOP 6: Party in Pradodise - Where my Prado people at?
When i first got my list of my staff for SPOP 6, i nearly fell to my knees. I had such an all star staff and i was more pumped than ever to get back to staffing even if i had just done SPOP 5. I had no doubt my staff would do an amazing job, and after staffing they more than made me proud. Just watching them staff, i constantly had a smile on my face. They seriously made my job as CP as easy it could possibly be because they knew what they had to do and they seriously handled. More importantly, what made this hall so special for me were the SPOPPERS. These SPOPPERs were seriously down for anything and were always pumped and excited. You could totally tell by their hall cheers because, not being biased or anything, we were the loudest hall at SPOP 6. You could hear it from anywhere "O O, YOU WISH YOU WERE IN PRADO" I had such an amazing time staffing SPOP 6 and it made me so pumped for my T.L.O.

Party in Pradodise Staff:

L-R: Steph Takeshita, Jesus Martinez, my kiddo John Kim, Diana Thai, Theresa Hsaio, Charlotte Simpliciano


SPOP 8: Bahyatt Beaches Resort


So this is it. My LAST ONE. MY LAST HALL I WOULD EVER SPOP. I didnt come into my last spop in the greatest of moods. I had a really bad day the day before SPOP 8 and i also got sick, so i wasn't really excited coming into SPOP 8. I just hoped that i would get over my sickness so i would have the energy to give my TLO my all. However, it was 2:45 pm and i was dirty, sweaty and still sick with the spoppers checking in to Mesa Court within 15 minutes. I quickly took a shower so at least on the outside, i looked fine. Slowly, the kids started trickling in and there was this magical force that just came in. When more and more people came and we moved outside for a round of dance off and and woosh, i felt a transformation. Suddendly, i felt like i had no sickness at all and i was so happy to rock the rest of spop. My ended my staff experience with one of the most amazing halls, with the most amazing staffers and the most amazing spoppers.

Bahyatt Beaches Resort Staff


L-R: Cat Pham, Paulo Aquino, Cory Ishihara-Wing, Eric Kim and Stephanie Chhun



It's pretty funny how the Olympics are going exactly the same time as SPOP this year. Just as hard as the athletes are working for their gold medals, i felt like i worked just as hard to earn a gold medal in SPOP, and after closing, i feel like i have achieved the gold medal that i wanted. I came into this year with a goal. As a returner, i would give my all into the program and give not only the spoppers, but the newbie staff all that i could offer. I put my 200% into this program and it has paid off. The results were wort all that extra responsibility, effort, hard work, drama frustrations. I would like to congratulate the first year staff on their part in SPOP. You guys have truly impacted the incoming freshmen and accomplished your purpose. To the returners, theres nothing more than i can say to you guys than that i love you and am so blessed to be in the same group of returners as you guys. There is one thing i realized this morning and this goes out to all the SPoppas. I feel like we are such a strong group and i feel like we are a band of brothers. Our comraderie is something i felt and i am so honored to be dads along with you guys.

Thank you gold year for all that you have given me. SPOP is more than orientation program, its a way of life.