When you reach for the stars...

Sometimes you miss and land in the clouds but other times, you just fall straight back to Earth.

Lesson Learned

Here are some things i learned from CPing SPOP 3 and going to SPOP NOR CAL

• I have the greatest support system with SPOP -- as "chill" as the job as CP may have seemed, i find myself being stressed at certain points of the day because i felt like i had nothing to do, but had so much to do at the same time. There were so many worries and concerns that i had, i just kind took the job as it came and kind of went with the flow and took care . if you know the type of person that i am, i like to at least have some sort of set schedule and have it written down for me. Of course, we had our CP folder, but it still didn't seem defined for me. It was something i was not familiar with and trying to think about all the things i needed to do or tell the kids really stressed me out. Luckily, i had an amazing group of staffers to help me through the process. Thank you to angie b, regina, sarah, and esther chong for being such an amazing group of staffers. I would really like to give a special thank you for jeff fong. i really can't thank you or express how much i appreciate how you have helped me. I know it may seem like you didnt do much, but to me, you kept me sane. I knew i could turn to you for anything but that i really didnt have to ask you for anything, because i knew you already knew what to do and you did it so well. And it wasn't just my staffers in my hall, it was basically all the golden shirts that were at SPOP 3. I knew i could turn to you guys no matter what with my worries and concerns and i could lean on you guys for support. Wes, you really are amazing. You are an amazing person to talk to and im glad we made the first ever SPOP HALL ROMANCE. i love wes. =]
• The REAL purpose of why i staff SPOP: being CP, i really realized even more the main reason why i do this program. i remember that i kept telling myself..."you're doing it with for the spoppers, you are doing it for the spoppers,". I kept telling myself that because i felt like all the sweat and effort i put into this progam didn't go into effect. Most of my worries as CP came from whether these kids will be excited for UCI, let alone, even have fun. i guess, after writing this, it wasnt the duties of CP that stressed me out, it was the spoppers that stressed me out. Believe it or not, it was making sure they were okay that stressed me out the most. After touch game, when the kids said, "I had a really good time and am excited for UCI because we had the best staffers," it was then i was able to let out a big sigh of relief and told myself "nick, you did your job, and you did it well, congrats".
• embracing connections you have with people...I really enjoy having my personal times with people. I would take those times over any crazy parties any time. i really love to genuinely talk to people and getting to know them and learning about their life. I especially go to do that after going to NOR CAL with spop heads. having a special connection with that someone that makes your friendship unique from other friendships and something only you and that other person can share. Even something as simple as making eye contact and feeling that connection you have with that other person makes it so special.
• taking time for yourself...sometimes you really need to step out of the loop and take the time to have to yourself and reflect. its important to realize that you don't always need to be in the circle and that there are times where you do need to step back. its that whole step up and step down thing. in order to help others, you truly need to help yourself first. you need that time to yourself to re-boost and re-energize and focus on your ultimate purpose not only in the current situation, but as well as in your own life.
• realizing your self worth..its so true when people say that you are your own worst critique. i don't give myself credit sometimes. its hard for me to see it because i really don't give myself enough credit, but yeah. I should realize my self-worth.

"the truth is, we put up walls not to block people out, but to see who cares enough to break it down"

sitting in my room.

im here sitting in my room, early in the morning, getting ready to go to work, except theres 1,000 thoughts running through my head. im just thinking about all the stuff that i have to take care of as well as all the changes that i have gone through the past couple of months. I know, weird combination, but it happens when you wake up earlier than you thought. I'm thinking about the changes that I've seen in myself, as well as my relationship with others. it's been for the good, i can say, but it's also been a roller coaster ride. i honestly really don't know what I'm talking about right now, i just felt like i needed to get something out on a blog.

i guess i'm talking about one relationship. despite the fact that we have grown closer in the past couple of months, i feel like theres still this wall between us. i really dont know what it is, and i really don't know how to fix it, but theres something there that is preventing us from getting closer. I mean, i'm happy with the relationship that we have now. we have moments and we also have our talks, but i still feel like theres something blocking us from getting even closer. we'll just see how time goes and maybe something will help or maybe i should just be content with what we have already. whatever, im getting cheese fries.


on a side note: i really miss disneyland. im hoping being blocked out for a month and half and then being able to come back on August 17th will make my comeback more magical than ever. until then, turkey legs, Fantasmic, fireworks, and the Toy Story ride will just have to wait.

The First One

I can't even begin to describe my feelings and experiences from staffing SPOP 1. Although I'm a returner, staffing the first one seemed like a totally different experience. There were definetly a lot of last minute changes and "go with the flow" moments, but regardless, T.F.O. was truly amazing and I couldn't have asked for anything more.

To the staffers in my hall - My CP Anne, Sam Renzi, Jennylyn, Ken Tran, Ashley Browne, and Sly. You guys were truly an amazing group to work with and all of our personalities mixed so well and we complimented each other. Anne, you were an amazing CP. I hoped i was able to help you out and relieve any additional stress, and to the other first year staffers, i am so proud to watch you wear that gold shirt with pride and connect so well with those kids. My heart will forever belong to and remember Power Rangers: Lost in OTEROdise.
To the other staffers: YOU GUYS WERE AMAZING. you guys really make me proud and just watching you guys staff just brings me pure happiness. Despite all the changes that occurred with in the program and all the fears that i had regarding if these changes would be able to accomplish what the SPOP mission is: mission accomplished. We've impacted those kids and made them excited for not only going to college, but going to UC Irvine. It's pride that we already have and now we have passed it down to future generations. Just imagine, when they are applying to be staffers, its going to be YOU that they inspired them to be staffers. Congratulations and get ready for future SPOPS

To the spoppers: there ARE NO words to describe how much i care about you guys. thank you guys for making my first GOLD YEAR staff experience just truly magical. thank YOU guys for everything.



To the coords: Thank you for your amazing commitment and hard word. You have an amazing staff because we have amazing coords.


so pumped for spop 3. =] SPOP 2: YOU GUYS ARE GOING TO KILL IT!


[p.s. this blog is dedicated to jason kim. thanks for your words of encouragement. you inspire me. i shall write about supermarkets now!]

I really want to come kick it with you...

After the madness of doing the showcase for SPOP MODERN for a crazy crowd and having a entertaining dinner with some SPOPheads, what a better way to end the night then to kickback with a bowl of hookah and chill. Just conversing with Jeff Fong, Sunil, Jason Kim, Shahirah, and Reg at J.Kim's place is a way to get ready for madness that is SPOP 1. We are all talking about blogging and how it's a good way to not only write down our thoughts, but also a couple years from now, be able to reflect about what we were thinking about during our college years.

I got Regina and Shahirah to potentially start one. Yay. Reading other blogs seems so intimidating. They get really deep into their thoughts and it seems like they think some crazy thoughts. I don't know if i ever think that way, but hopefully by reading the other blogs, I'll get inspired. Until then, I'll just try my best.

But anyways, besides the crazy parties, Vegas trip, Arrowhead, trainings in SPOP, as well the SPOPs themselves, the one thing that i look forward to is these "kick back" moments, where you really don't do much with others except kick back, enjoy each other's company as well as good conversation. It's a nice break from all the madness that can encompass SPOP. I'm going to try to have more of these. You down?

babyfaced

I think it's some evil plot of KIIS FM or something because seriously, every time I step into my damn car, the song, Damaged, always plays. The song is pretty catchy, but not when you hear it everytime you start the ignition.

Anyways, I celebrated Jamie Arcinas, aka Nuni's, 23rd birthday at Banana Bay. Oops, sorry to call you out! Happy Birthday This is when its pretty lonely being within arms reach of that age of 21. Being behind the row of 21+ year olds ordering 2 for 1 Martinis and Red Devils makes these 11 months seem so much longer. Its okay tho, they let me sip on the Red Devil and they are the most fun people. woo hoo! But being with that crowd gives me something to look forward too. Something fun that i hope to grow up to be in a couple years with my fellow youngins. cheers to that, being a babyface.