New Year Goals

It's been such a long time since i last wrote in this thing. one quarter ago exactly. i am such a lagger but i will get on it because someone told me to write in it, and its the new year that prompts for a new entry.

I was talking to Czareine about blogging and new years resolutions. She was talking about how she doesn't really make resolutions and rather she makes herself new year goals. New Year Resolutions are more personal promises. She mentioned that she didn't want to make promises to her self if she knew she couldn't really keep them and would rather make goals for herself for the new year. Thus, why I am making New Year Goals rather than New Year Resolutions. So here they are as follow, in no particular order:

1. SAVE MONEY. it seems so cliche in such an economic time like this, but it's more than making sure I have money if something does happen. Its also based on self discipline and working on not over indulgence. It was so easy for me to have money in my account when pay day came around and just blowing it left and right. Vegas trip here, a night at the bars there. Boiling Crab here, Korean BBQ there. While I did have the "money" to spend, I had to really think if i HAD the money to do that. I really work on cutting down on my luxuries and trying to have extra cash in my bank account at the end of the month.

2. Cutting down on Alcohol. As bad as i may sound, to cut down all alcohol consumption would be unrealistic. That is why my goal is to cut down on my alcohol consumption. By how much? I am not sure, Ill determine that through out the year, but that could include not going out to the bars as much, not ordering drinks at restaurants, and having beer and wine over hard alcohol. I know this personal goal will benefit me in many ways. One, it will help me with the above goal of saving money because alcohol is expensive. Two, it will definitely improve my health. I was watching the show 30 Days about how a mom goes binge drinking for 30 days to prove to her daughter the effects of binge drinking. What got me the most was hearing her daughter "defend" her binge drinking and hearing it from an outside perspective, it sounded ridiculous. But I'm still down to have a couple nights of fun here and there.

3. Be a scholar. For 2010, as I finish up my last quarters at UCI, I want to make sure that I become a scholar, and not just a good student. I started off this school year on a good foot making Dean's Honors List and I want to continue through 2010 with this. In other aspects of being a scholar, I want to do more than just do well in my school classes. I also want to educate myself more in the field that I am studying, Public Health, but also educate myself more about the world around me and what is going on with current events. And no, Perez Hilton does not count.

4. Improve myself as a dancer. As this is my last year on MCIA, I hope to use this year to really try to improve as a dancer by putting in as much effort as I can into practices. I am not going to measure my success as a "good dancer" by how many pieces im blocked into or where I am blocked into, but how I feel after I perform, knowing I looked my best and tried my hardest. So MCIA, if you see me not talking to you or antisocial when were practicing...its probably because I am trying to focus. BTDubs.

5. Improve my relationships with people. NO, not that I have any drama with people, but rather I want to build stronger relationships with my current friends, family and relationships. I kind of borrowed this from Jamie Arcinas from her new year resolutions. As i am leaving college and entering the working world, our social networks kind of diminish. We don't tend to "make friends" as easily or as much as we did in college. However, I want to be able to embrace the relationships I already have and truly build on top of them. But you guys gotta help me out on this too. I want to also spend more time at home home with my family and be able to share different aspects of my life with them.

6. From my experiences in 2010, hopefully be able to get a job once 2011 comes around. That's it. Self Explanatory.

I am looking forward to 2010. It seems like a great year is ahead of me, and I hope that with my new year goals, it will be one of the best years I have lived.

clean carpet

I'm listening to my quick mix on my Pandora right now that has a mix of Adele, Sara Barreilles, Jason Mraz, and i think Jack Johnson. I forgot how amazing this website is and i missed listening to it. It gets me excited for studying.

Maria's also got their carpet cleaned. My dad was nice enough to come down to our place and rent out a rug doctor to clean our carpets. Our carpet looks so amazing now and a year build up of feet, alcohol, food, Topaz, dirt, or whatever were sucked up and poured down our toilet. Its like our apartment got a make over. Clean carpet makes such a big difference. Its a good way to start off the new school year. Sord of cleansing yourself, getting rid of all the grimy dirt you have on you, and starting clean. Can't believe its already my fourth year. Seriously, how did three years of college pass by already? Time to pwn this year in so many ways. Eagerly anticipating what awaits.

On an another note, our MCIA workshops started today. It was fun learning Kduh/Soko's piece and to actually be in the position of being on the team already. I was so nervous assisting Sam in his workshop because it was a HUGE class and I didnt want to look a fool and wanted to make Sam happy. Overall, it was such an amazing experience and I had so much fun. Nothing like helping others do what you love to do. It's still crazy to think that a year ago, i was on the other side.

Heres to week 1. HELLO FALL QUARTER!

ready

I'm sitting here on my laptop and have been on it since I've gotten back from practice. Practice ended early tonight but it's not like im going to find myself going to sleep any earlier. Practice for MCIA is probably the most productive...which isnt saying much...i have been feeling recently. I work during the day but thats just me sitting in front of a computer with occasional questions on the phone or a card I have to copy out. At least i get paid for it. Fortunately, today during work, I started work on my position I will began for the school year which is being the Stay Over Program coord again. We came up with our theme for the program and cleared out the old paperwork in the binders. Definitely, one of the most accomplishing days at work in a while.

I am actually glad that school is starting soon; that anticipation that ill be on the grind again and hustling and bustling everywhere on campus is very enticing. I am kind of over these mindless days where i wonder what is out there for me the next day or the day after. Maybe its partly my fault and I could push myself to get out there and actually do something about it, but i guess thats why im eagerly anticipating fall quarter to start: the rush of welcome week, classes, and SOP awaits me.

Its exciting to see everyone around me doing big things and not only makes me so proud of them, but it also gives me hope for my future. Despite this talk about "no jobs" and recession and shit, to see my friends going to grad school, getting offered job, traveling abroad makes me want to work hard during my last stretch of college so that i may enter the real world....which seems scary as fuck to me.

So I am ready. Ready for what life will throw at me. I recently hit a hurdle and i hoped and prayed for a way to get through it, and it happened. I have hope for my future and what is to come.

The Mountains Brought Us Peace

There is this little sign hidden amongst the camp grounds of Pilgrim Pines in Yucaipa, California that reads "The mountains shall bring peace to the people". Its a little sign that I look forward to finding every time i come up for LDC each summer. LDC (Leadership Development Center) is a leadership camp that I attended as a camper in 2002 and have been a counselor since 2003 (with the exception of last year). Despite it being my seventh year returning back to LDC, that feeling of nostalgia every time i step back onto the camp grounds still resonates through out my body as strong as ever. I grew up in these woods, starting camp as a naive, quiet, and shy 14 year old and now I help run the camp seven years later. Who would have known how my life would have progressed with out this camp. Along with the many aspects of leadership I learned from this camp, I have gained memories and more importantly some life long friends.


Some of the staffers decided to make some changes to the particular sign. They posted up a sign on top of it that read "The mountains brought peace to us" and i believe that holds true. Amongst the crazyness and stress of life that surrounds me, I look forward to spending a week up in the mountains that takes me away from it all; To come back to these mountains and feel that LDC magic i have felt so many times before. From the first night with the staff, to the challenge of the clans, the hike, campfire, talent show, cabin time, sessions, Craft Lodge, speakeasies, banquet, dance, string tying, and all the moments in between, your heart, mind and soul gets wrapped up this special camp. it helps that there is no reception on your cell phone either.

It's interesting now to think that im one of the "oldies" here at camp. Its true, I have been around camp longer than most of the staffers here. I was actually talking to this about Albert Heng. The satisfaction I got out of camp this year was different than past. I think, when i was younger, after coming back from camp, my joy and happiness came from me meeting new friends, having a direct on the delegates and enjoying my won experience, but now its different. My satisfaction is being able to give back and be able to offer that experience to the younger staffers and delegates. I want to be able to inspire future generations of LDC staffers so that if the time comes for me to be an LDC alum, i know that the future of LDC will be in good hands. After this camp, I have no doubt that will happen. My oldie staff said that to me back when I first started as a staffer, and now I can say that to the newbie staffers and delegates this year. Amazing. The staffers and delegates were the ones that truly made my camp and I want to thank for being so open minded and embracing the LDC magic.

As for my future in LDC...i can't say yet. i would love to come back again, but as uncertain how life can be, I can't say for sure. But i know despite anything, the memories and friendships of LDC will always be with me. To finish off this note with a quote quote that has been with me through out my history of LDC.

"LDC. For those who haven't experienced it, no explanation is possible. For those who have, no explanation is necessary".

Heres to LDC 2009: Cirque du So-Lead

Shout outs to:
HDKLNC forever.
LDC soulmate
Nick Ngoc
Christian Bale-mhurst
my clan advisors
Elizabeth and James Han
and the beautiful delegates that touched my heart.

New Curtains!

It's pretty interesting how fast things can change over a span of a couple of weeks, let alone a year. Especially through your relationships with people. It seems so cliche to say that in college, you meet so many people, but its true and I can contest to that. Through my many experiences, I have been blessed with the opportunities to meet the greatest span of people that have either made my life better, helped me learn something about the world or more importantly, learn something about myself.

Some people in your life come and go, and as sad as it may seem, its the reality of life. Its impossible to keep everyone in your life all the time, forever. And then there are those that stay with you for a long time, whether its on a consistent basis, or they seem to weave in and out.

Those people who seem to just find their way to come back into your life are the most interesting. When you feel like you have closed a chapter on a part of your life, they manage to find a way to return. I'm not saying its a bad come back, but I feel like there's always a purpose for it, as if you were never meant to close that chapter. You know there is a reason why they why they came back and keep existing in your life, but I guess your mission is to really find out why. Is it to help your realize something that you may have missed the first couple of times? Are they trying to tell you something? Or are they just there for nostalgic reasons, or simply, they come back to just exist in your life again. I don't know.


In other words, having extra free time during the summer is simply amazing. You really start to enjoy the simple pleasures in life. Penney bought new curtains for Maria's and its legit. It really makes a huge change. So thank you Roomette.

I really want to take a trip somewhere. Nothing too special or crazy, but just a nice getaway. I've celebrated my 21 year old age to its max for a good month now, so a nice getaway would be real nice right about now. Ideas?

Ah yes, one last thing. I saw the SPOP Royal Year color revealing. Wow. Just Wow. Just watching the video gave me the same sensations and chills I had when it was teal year and gold year. There was so much nostalgia and all those feelings came rushing back to me as I watched the video on Facebook. Its so amazing how each and every year, the revealing is so different from each other. From watching your coords rip off trashbags that they were wearing or reading rhymes off the marquee in the Student Center, or cracking glowsticks in a darkened room, the end result is what unites all the years of SPOP together, and thats pride. Pride in that year's color, pride in your staff, and pride in what you are going to accomplish that summer. I want to thank Teal and Gold Year for what they have given me, and I want to wish everyone in Royal year the best of luck. You guys are going to rock it.

The Simple Pleasures of Life

Waking up to no alarm clock, freaking out that you were late for work at 9:30 AM, only to look at your cell phone and seeing it was 8:22 AM.

Taking a nice dump to get rid of all the alcoholic toxins after a night at the bar.

Putting on some pants only to find a couple dollars you left in there the last time you wore them.

Going into the living room to see two of your friends passed out on the couch after a good night of hitting up Downtown Fullerton.

Your friends and you leaving for the day that morning only to make plans to meet up again that night to watch So You Think You Can Dance.


ahh yes. Summer is off to a good start. who wants to play?

Realization and Appreciation.

So Sunday marked the last day of what I call “MCIA week”. For a whole week straight, I saw MCIA every single day, from Sunday to Sunday. Last Sunday was our performance for the APhiO Dance Competition (congrats UCI’s Rho Rho Chapter!). Monday was the Zeta Class hang out day in which my newbie class and I spent the entire together exploring the botanical gardens at the Huntington Library, which lead to our last practice of the year on Tuesday night, and our last performance of the school year at Care-A-Thon on Wednesday night. Thursday was a glutinous team banquet at Steelhead Brewery which we were introduced to our new cabinet for the 2009-2010 team. (If you wanted to know, the coords are Jenevieve Manguiat, Rommel Rosales, and Roxy Shih, and the captains are Summer Hart-Poindexter, Jason Tong, and Stacey Rivera). Friday marked the beginning of our retreat which brought us out to Cathedral City, far out in past Palm Desert. Then on Sunday, after what seemed like a very short drive back from Cathedral City and a stop to $10 ALL YOU CAN EAT KOREAN BBQ with seriously the best car ever, I ended my MCIA week on such a huge MCIA high.

I am not going to lie, throughout this year, MCIA seemed to be just a side dish I would enjoy with my main meal of what I call College. Work, School, and SPOP were on my main entrée plate, and I thought MCIA would be a nice side dish to have with my meal. I thought it would be something fun to do on the side and that would help take up some time. And a couple days before retreat, I doubted how much “fun” this retreat would be with the 40 of us in one house, in the desert, for three days….and it being dry (I know, I sound like an alcoholic, but it’s a normal thought right?)

As I spend this day as the first day I wouldn’t have to officially see any of my teammates (although it was pretty much a full table at a student center table during lunch today), I gave me time to really reflect on what I have experienced this year, especially at retreat.

Coming out of this weekend, I can honestly say that retreat was something I had totally not expected. It was so much more. There are two main components that I was able to gain two big concepts: realization and appreciation. Being in such an environment such as retreat, it helped me really reconsider what MCIA really meant to me. Before I go into my realizations and appreciation concepts, I would like just point out my top 3 memorable events to me (in no particular order)

1. MCIA “Spring Break!!!” Pool Party – it was just plain old good fun waking up after sleeping at 5:30 AM to have mostly everyone in their bathing suits at 11 AM hanging out the pool. The music was bumping, some were just enjoying the shade while others were basking in the warm desert sun. Some boys were grilling up some hamburgers and hot dogs (inside) while others were shooting up some memorable photographs. It was just good to see us all hanging out enjoying each other’s company, which I thought we didn’t get much opportunity to so outside of practice

2. My words to Rommel Rosales – I have known Rommel since my freshmen year of high school and we have been able to maintain our friendship till now. However, there was one thing that I hadn’t told Rommel and after finally being able to tell him, brought out a whole other side to me and made me appreciate him more as a friend.

3. Watching the Roots performance – While this year, we didn’t get to experience a live Roots (MCIA alumni team) performance, watching the video as a newbie the morning we left was such a cool experience. Just to know where we came from and how far we’ve come was a great experience.

As I enter my portion on the realizations and appreciations I have made through this weekend, just know that not all will be mentioned here. I want to keep some to myself but share some to others in which I didn’t get to during retreat.

After this weekend, I have realized how much impact this team has made on me and how important it is to me. I feel that MCIA is moved from the side dish plate to my main entrée plate. Although dance was fun, family and fun was what I really gained from being on this team. It was an experience that is irreplaceable and something I don’t regret. I learned to appreciate the people on my team and what they have brought to the team individually.

I also realized my role on this team and it was brought to my attention by my fellow teammates. For this whole year, I have struggled being on a DANCE team, with learning choreo, auditioning, and performance. I often questioned myself with the question of “How was I ever put on this team and how am I still on it?” After having my talks to for my teammates, I realized what role I played on this team and I appreciate all the words that were given to me and all the moral support they have given me though out the year.

I realized how amazing my newbie class is. One of my pals, Czareine, said during retreat “Congratulations Zetas, none of you guys left this year” and I was just kind of surprised by this statement. I thought about it and saw how true it was. All 11 of are still here from beginning to end and I couldn’t be more proud. I have realized how cohesive my class is. It seems like we are all thinking on the same wave length and we honestly have each other’s support in every way. As the oldest of the Zetas, I was dubbed the name “Papa Zeta” and I decided that I wanted to take that role seriously. I wanted to take care of my class as a whole and to make sure that we one family within a larger family. I like to now think of our newbie class as a puzzle. We are all look different with our different shapes, but when you put us all together we all fit together so well to make a larger picture. All of us form some part of that puzzle and without one of us, it would look incomplete. The day we all hung out at the Huntington Library was one of my favorite days on the team because instead of looking at our class as 11 individual newbies, I saw as an “Army of Skankz”. I appreciate every single one of you and what you have done for me. I have said this before, but although I am the oldest of the newbies, I have looked up to every single one of you not only as amazing dancers, but strong people. I have learned so much from you guys and I am so proud of you. (Newbies, check the facebook feed in the future)

I also realized that our team has its problems and is not perfect, and how it can be a good thing. Our team is relatively new, with its sixth year being in existence and our team is in its process of growing exponentially. As a result of our growth, changes are made every year and that’s often when our struggles come. To some, changes are harder to accept than others and some resist change as much as possible. However, I also realize that change is necessary and inevitable. Change is necessary to bring a growing team to its greatness and is inevitable as a growing team. Besides the problems within the team, I realized that there are also flaws in people. People are not perfect, and thank goodness for that. That means, that we as people, like a new dance team, can change over time. We just need to allow ourselves to change and grow. I really appreciate every person I got to interact and learn about during this trip. I have learned from the flaws of people and know that there is a probably a reason for their flaw. While I’m not exactly accepting their flaws, I am willing to see the potential of change in them and how they can bring it upon themselves, and be able to fix their own flaws if they allow it to happen. Although I am a only a newbie, I have learned so much from such problems and how to be a good returner next year on the team.

I have realized to truly appreciate you. You have taught me how to really care for someone else besides me and like gravity, you have pulled me back down to earth. You know how I feel and that’s all I really have to share here.

I wish that were able to do AGTs for MCIA. I realized how much I appreciate everyone on the team, and I feel like I am able to better express myself through writing and be able to write everyone I said as time wouldn’t have allotted me to say everything I wanted to, to every person. I appreciate my teammates.

I also realized the validity of the concept that “Everything happens for a reason” and it is a concept that I have truly believed in for a while, especially when I got rejected from my #1 college (so cliché, I know). Its pretty much self explanatory, and it also helped me pull through times when things don’t always get exactly how I want it to or planned it to. There is a reason:

- why I made the team I when did

- why I was in GBB

- why I struggled so much with auditions and pieces this year

- I rode up in the car with Jen Chung, Chua, Kevin, and Big

- For everything.

I appreciate everything that life has brought me and where it has led me today.

There are more, but those are for myself. If you have read all of this thus far, I really appreciate for having the patience and endurance to read through all this.

I hope I seemed coherent through this whole blog because it just seemed like I was rambling on typing away while I’m in class watching a movie that is a satire on how Asian Americans are perceived in the United States. How that relates, but I thought I would throw it in here.

I would like to enter MCIA Eta year with hope. Hope for change. Hope for growth. Hope for new experiences. Hope for new friends and building on old ones. Hope for new skills. Hope for being a great returner (fingers crossed). Hope for my goals. Hope for more fun. Hope for MCIA.

Thank you Jenevieve Manguiat and Patrick Villar for this opportunity. I hope I have made you proud.